6 reasons why you might not be getting a second date

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Here’s a common scenario: you went on a first date and felt like you two really hit it off. You made each other laugh, had heaps in common, had good chat and talked about doing it again soon. And then… radio silence. So what happened? Was it something you said? Did you misread the signs? Here are six possible reasons why you got ghosted.

1. The feelings aren’t mutual

While you may have felt a connection and chemistry with your date, if they didn’t book you in for round two then it’s likely the feeling wasn’t mutual. For a relationship to be successful the chemistry should be there for both of you, and in this case it sounds like it wasn’t. This doesn’t mean that you are doomed to stay single or that you are a bad date. It just means that in this instance your date didn’t feel the same strong connection that you did.

2. The timing isn’t right

Perhaps your date has just come out of a relationship and wanted to test the waters, only to find out that they aren’t ready for the plunge. It’s annoying because chances are you are ready for something more meaningful, but you can’t force what isn’t meant to be. On the other hand, if that person is really wanting to start something with you then they will actively try to do it, be it now or later down the track.

3. You left a bad impression

Ugh, probably not want you wanted to hear but it could be a factor. First dates are usually about first impressions. Did you go to an effort with your appearance? Did you turn up on time? Were you easy to chat with or did you just talk about yourself the whole time? Did you seem grateful and offer to pay? There are a few first date etiquette rules which will help you secure your next date, so make sure you know what they are.

4. They are seeing other people

This could be the reason why they didn’t organise another date. Simply because they are dating several people at a time and keeping their options open. If anything, they have done you a favour because you don’t want to know you are just somebody’s option in a sea of possible candidates!

5. You have unresolved issues

If you have baggage or are holding onto the ex and the past, chances are it’s going to come through in your conversation. You may not be aware of it, but your date will be! Be sure that you are actually ready to move on and be the best person you can be before you decide to start dating. Yes, people should grow with you and accept you for who you are. But let’s face it, no one wants drama or to feel that they are dating someone with unresolved issues.

6. You didn’t make you intentions or interest clear

Half of the time the reason we didn’t get a call back is because we didn’t make it clear we wanted one! Don’t be so shrouded in mystery and ambiguous that your date has no clue where they stand. Be confident and make it clear, without being desperate, that you would like to see them again. Dating really is as simple or complicated as you want to make it.

Has this ever happened to you? Tell us about it in the comments below or join the conversation @eHarmony_AU or on Facebook.com/eHarmonyaustralia.

About Renee Slansky

Rene Slansky, dating advice blogger

Rene Slansky

Renee Slansky is an Australian TV presenter, writer, dating and relationship coach and founder of Australia’s #1 dating blog www.thedatingdirectory.co.

Her heart for people to experience fulfilling and healthy relationships has seen her featured on some of the largest online publications and dating sites in the world including The Huffington Post, The Good Men Project and Elite Daily.

Renee hosts her own online TV channel and regularly shares her tips and advice on Australian TV and radio programs. Her teachings are all about offering practical advice, support and solutions to real life issues in love. Think of her as your modern day Fairy Godmother!


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