How to improve your kissing skills
Do you remember the last time a kiss left you feeling weak at the knees?
A kiss can stop time, make you fall in love and quite literally touch your heart and soul. But what makes a kiss unforgettable? Body Language and Kissing Expert Katia Loisel explains.
The perfect kiss involves an intoxicating combination of anticipation and excitement, electrifying chemistry, the right setting and mood, technique and compatibility. And while a bad kiss can be a deal breaker, a scrumptious smooch can be a game changer with research showing that dizzying ‘kiss-ability’ can actually make you appear more attractive.
Research by eHarmony found that one in five Aussies would break up with someone over a bad first kiss, with bad breath, too much saliva and tongue being the top kissing turn-offs. But what constitutes a turn-off, or turn-on, depends on who you’re kissing and isn’t always as straight forward as you might think.
Men and women have prewired preferences for different kissing techniques and kiss for different reasons. Research published in Evolutionary Psychology found that while men prefer more tongue, a wet open mouthed kiss and are more likely to initiate a tongue kiss, women prefer less tongue and saliva, particularly in short term relationships. On the other hand, women crave variety, preferring men who aren’t stuck on one speed but alternate between fast and slow, hot and soft and open and closed mouth kisses.
So what’s the secret to the perfect kiss?
Whether it’s your first kiss or you’ve been together forever, here are my five top tips to up your kissing game and give your relationship the ultimate boost:
Improve your kiss-ability
Like all great relationships, a great kiss is about connection and compatibility and requires more than just chemistry. In fact, when it comes to kiss-ability, new research by eHarmony has found that it really is your personality, connection and your sense of humour that count.
We’re prewired to like people who are similar to us, and who make us feel safe, understood and comfortable. Whether it’s your first kiss or you’ve been together forever, it’s this compatibility that helps make a kiss truly memorable. So relax, take the time to connect, be yourself and let your personality shine through.
Build the anticipation
Whether it’s your first kiss or you’ve been together forever, take it slow and build the anticipation so that they’re dying to kiss you by touching, teasing, kissing and caressing your way around their face and erogenous zones such as their lips, ears and the nape of their neck. Our lips are one of our body’s most powerful erogenous zones. Brimming with nerve endings, the lips have a disproportionately large amount of neural space devoted to them, making them incredibly sensitive to touch.
Take time to connect and touch
Whilst chemistry came up as the number one reason for a great kiss, according to eHarmony’s findings a loving embrace was second. When it comes to connection and pleasure, a gentle touch and kiss or caress that’s as soft as feather wins hands down. A loving embrace releases the cuddle hormone oxytocin whilst a light touch activates the brain’s emotional orbitofrontal cortex and is picked up by pleasure detecting nerves called C-fibers.
Set the mood
Researches at Lafayette College found that where you kiss can have a powerful effect on how you rate the pash and your partner. The study found that kissing in a sterile environment decreased the level of the bonding hormone oxytocin in women and reduced the level of intimacy they felt with their partner. Want to know the perfect setting that kiss? According to eHarmony’s research, Australians rated a sunset / sunrise kiss on the beach as the number one kissing spot.
Last but not least, follow their lead
To make an unforgettable impression, start slow, take the time to connect and build the anticipation before following their lead and remember the secret to the perfect kiss is to kiss them like they’re kissing you, because that’s how they’d most like to be kissed.
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