Christmas survival guide for singles
The holidays are here–and if you’re single, or just getting over a break up, it means tough times are ahead.
Not only will you have to attend holiday event after holiday event alone, watching other couples stand arm in arm; but you’ll also have to endure those not-so-welcome conversations with your relatives at your family events.
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Aren’t you just grinning with holiday cheer? But, rather than dwell in the loneliness, experts remind us that there are benefits to being single during the holidays.
“Singles should embrace social situations with confidence, an open mind and positivity, particularly at this time of the year,” advises eHarmony’s dating and relationship expert, Melanie Schilling. “They have control of their thoughts and it’s their choice whether to act like the left-out single friend or the real life of the party!”
Here’s what eHarmony suggest you keep in mind to get through the holidays solo this year.
Don’t bury yourself in work, but since you don’t have to fit someone else’s schedule into yours, being single at the holidays gives you the opportunity to work late and pick up more hours or extra shifts. Plus, keeping busy takes your mind of things and puts that focus into your work, which will help you get more done rather than be distracted by the festivities.
The best part about being single is that you have the freedom to decide how you celebrate the holidays and whom you spend it with. You don’t have to meet someone’s parents and extended family, nor do you have to spend it with any in-laws that you dislike–which means you also don’t have to have any awkward conversations with a partner.
Moreover, take advantage of fact that you’re single and accept any holiday invites you receive to keep your options open–who knows who you could meet at those parties!
Embrace the single life
Unfortunately, there is no way to avoid conversations about your relationship status during the holidays. It’s going to come up at some point, so be prepared or bring it up yourself so you can get everyone to move on to other topics sooner.
Talk about what you’ve been up to and highlight all the awesome, positive things you’ve got going on. That’ll send the signal to your friends that you’re doing just fine and are happy being single!
Go on a date
Not everyone is in a relationship during the holidays–if you’re single, there are likely other single people out there, so go find him or her and go on a date! Plus, there are always people using online dating to find other single people during the holidays.
Dating during the holidays can be fun because there are a lot of exciting events going on (some that might even be free or cheap) which means you shouldn’t have to sit through too awkward of a date. Plus, if things go well, you could end up with someone to bring to a holiday party–and someone else to buy and get gifts from!
If you don’t want to go on a date with someone, take yourself out instead! Instead of waiting for a significant other to take you out to a nice dinner or buy you gifts, why not just do that for yourself?
Focus on what you want
Whether you find yourself feeling lonely during the holidays, or actually are embracing the single life, take this time to think about what you are looking for or are hoping to accomplish in the next year.
If you find yourself wising you had someone to spend the holidays with, think about how you can make that happen for next year. Ask yourself what exactly you’re looking for in a partner and look for that when you start dating again.
Moreover, watch how couples interact, especially during the holidays, and take note of their behaviors. This can help you identify what you want (or don’t want) in a relationship.
Enjoy your holiday with your loved ones
Being single during the holiday means you get to spend more time with your immediate family and your closest friends. Rather than feeling like someone is “missing,” try and focus on the people you do have in your life and appreciate your time spent together.
At the end of the day, do your best to stay positive–you’re going to survive this holiday season!
“Negativity is a terrible colour on anyone and starts a downward spiral that won’t help you find love in the long run,” says Schilling. “If you tell yourself the silly season is going to be a disaster, it probably will be. Instead, tell yourself: “I can’t wait to chat to new people, have ‘me’ time and relax these holidays.”
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