Do stated preferences predict who you actually date?
by Erina Lee | April 28th, 2008Perhaps you’ve seen a typical dating advertisement like this, “single male looking for attractive, fit, professional female who enjoys the outdoors for romantic relationship.” Do you ever wonder if the single male actually chooses the exact woman who meets his needs: the attractive, professional, fit female who loves the outdoors?
In a recent study, researchers Robert Kurzban and Jason Weeden were interested in determining just this – whether your stated preferences (what you say you’d like in a mate) affect your actual dating choices. Using data from the speed-dating company HurryDate, researchers investigated individuals’ preferences on a number of factors – including height, income, age, race, religion, education, number of previous marriages, body type, and ethnicity – as well as the individuals’ subsequent dating behavior (i.e., their attendance at specific speed-dating events and the people they chose to date).
Among several other interesting findings, researchers discovered that stated preferences did in fact determine the kind of event people attended. For example, women who stated they were interested in dating older men were more likely to attend speed dating events with men who were older. Within these confines, however, other stated preferences (with the exception of race) were not additionally predictive of who a person chose to date. For example, if a woman stated that she was interested in tall, older men, with higher education, she may be more likely to attend the speed-dating event with older men, but was no more likely to date tall, educated men within that group. Instead, both men and women were likely to select dates based on physical attractiveness.
In explaining their results, researchers suggested a number of possibilities, for example, that it might be harder to gather specific information like income, religion, or education on a 3-minute speed date, and therefore harder to select dates on those criteria. They also suggested that mating preferences may be situation dependent. Specifically, physical attractiveness may play an important role in shorter speed-dating type events either because individuals are focused on short-term relationships or perhaps because physical appearance gives more information when quick decisions need to be made.
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May 7th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Interesting findings. I think people in general aren’t good at knowing what they want or need in a partner, and are often surprised with who they end up with.
May 13th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
I think people list everything they can knowing not one person will have all of those qualities and worse yet, they themselves often possess little of what it is they are looking for. If they are able to fulfill even a good margin of what they are looking for, they aimed high and did o.k. As if someone with those qualities would settle for someone woefully less than themselves. Also, the attractive factor allows for a person to possess very little qualities if they are extemely attractive.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
I had this argument with a guy that wanted to date me. Since I’m pretty tall, I still have a preference for men taller than me and older. He didn’t meet either and I wasn’t interested. He said I was shallow. I asked if he dated outside of his race. He said no. I said, but that is just another type of preference. That doesn’t make you a racist. But we just kept going back and forth, and it came to the point of me being a “woman scorned” and bitter. But I didn’t mean to come off that way, but then again, that’s one of the reasons I prefer men older than me anyway.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:24 am
I know I’ve only been on this eHarmony site for a week, but why are all the matches they send me with guys that are 10 years or more my senior? What about younger men? Do I not match with any of them?
June 20th, 2008 at 9:10 am
I am very disappointed w/ Eharmony matches and the lack of response. The reason we are here is to communicate, reach out to a match and to receive a response. It can be very disheartening to send a message, nudge, etc. to a person and not receive any response for over a month. Practice being courteous. If you are not interested, let the person know especially if they reach out to you with a note.
Be Blessed