Beautiful Women Want More
by Erina Lee | May 27th, 2008Does your own physical attractiveness influence what you look for in a partner? According to a study from David Buss and Todd Shackelford (2008), the answer seems to be yes. Researchers investigated 214 married people (half men, half women) to determine how mate preferences were affected by participants’ own physical attractiveness.
Participants in this study first rated how desirable specific characteristics would be in a potential mate. These characteristics included a variety of positive qualities like having good genes (e.g., good looks, physically fit), good investments (e.g., income potential, education), good parenting skills (e.g., raising children is a priority, desire for home and children), or being a good partner (e.g., being a loving partner, being loyal). Each participant’s physical attractiveness level was then rated by interviewers. Taking independent judgments of face, body, and overall attractiveness level, a weighted average was computed for each participant.
Results showed that women rated as more physically attractive were also more inclined to rate each of the characteristics as desirable. These women not only found specific characteristics as more desirable, but overall there were significant correlations between physical attractiveness and most of the mate characteristics, suggesting that beautiful women want more of these desirable features when looking for a mate.
Interestingly, the finding was not universal across gender. In fact, there were few significant correlations between physical attractiveness and mate preference for men, suggesting that more attractive men do not necessarily demand more from their potential mates.
Why does this happen? For men, attractiveness in women is generally highly valued. Thus, the more beautiful the woman, the more currency these women have in demanding certain qualities in their potential mates. Less attractive women, having less currency, find qualities less desirable and perhaps lower their requirements based on the knowledge that they are less desirable. Since physical attractiveness is not as valued for women, especially in comparison to other qualities like intelligence, beautiful men may not have the same influence over women.
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June 7th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
I agree. I take time to look good, building on my natural looks. I watch my weight and am always carefully groomed. It annoys me that men who are overweight, carry around a “pregnant” belly, or are too lazy to dress in clothes that fit and flatter them seek my time and attention. If they don’t care enough about themselves to show the world their best side, why would I want to take the time to care about them?
June 14th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Kate,
That is so shallow and supercilious that I’m ever so glad that I don’t know you.
June 15th, 2008 at 2:55 am
As an unattractive, older woman, I have had almost 200 matches through this service and only 3 men with whom I communicated, briefly. Age, looks, sex-appeal are the primary considerations.
June 15th, 2008 at 10:18 am
As shallow as it may seem, it is the cold hearted truth. The things Kate speaks of are NOT irreparable physical issues. They can be changed. How you present yourself to the world does have a bearing on how others view you. Furthermore, how you chose to present yourself to the world often manifests itself in how you treat others. When you are feeling good about yourself .. you feel good about others.
June 17th, 2008 at 2:23 am
Valerie,
I’m happy not to know you too.
“When you are feeling good about yourself .. you feel good about others. ”
For one thing I don’t need to put on a “public persona” to feel good about myself.
I’m happiest in old jeans and joggers in suburbia and happiest of all when I’m in boots, bush gear and a broad rimmed hat, far, far away from the falseness and superficiality of the towns.
I find the most pleasurable company in the remotest of places:
People who genuinely know who and what they are:
People who have genuine respect for themselves and consequently for the folks around them:
People who are fundamentally honest.
Not many of them to be found in the rush and egocentic crush of city life.
June 19th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Nigel,
Quite wine’ing! The lady’s speak the truth, as we men, well most feel the same. We would like women to stay in shape too. Some may not be able to stay in shape, if it by choice, or by the body having issues and one cannot exercise……
Looks and staying in shape help the opposite sex period. If it be for, health, sexual desire, or just being fit for your partner.
Physical attraction demands more maintenance period, that means effort, time, money, support…… And, yes it can get out of control, and you find yourself with a “high maintenance individual”……. There always has to be a give and take, one cannot demand all of the attention, all of the time…
Just some thoughts from a visual perspective….
June 19th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
I think it takes one to appreciate one, so if Nigel could careless about his looks, then he ‘may’ attracts women who don’t care about looks and vice versa…no need to argue about it.
I have worked very hard to get ahead in school and in my jobs, so I earn a very good living and take care of myself . I have done all these things not because I needed others to appreciate me. It is simply because I do things to make myself feel good and then all things fall into places.
June 20th, 2008 at 7:37 am
Guys/Gals
Nothing counts more than your own opinion of yourself -self esteem. I have exercised and tried to take care of myself since I was 20 years old. The payoff is apparent now that I am 46. No surgeries, heart problems or diabetes yet (and hopefully never), incredible energy, happy, above average bone density, look younger than my age, healthy self esteem and more. I see what happens when people don’t take care of themselves. People overweight to the point of damaging their quality of life. At work I try to help people recover from surgeries and trauma and urge them to make positive changes in their lives so they can be happier, healthier and stay out of the hospital in the future.
Darla, your opinion of yourself is important. If YOU think you are unattractive then do something to change that. Doesn’t matter what those 200 matches think. Unfortunately this world is too focused on looks and weight -both for the wrong reasons. Look good for yourself and keep your weight healthy so you reduce your chances of ending up disabled as you age. You are definately worth it Darla.
Everyone on here makes a valid point. People just want to meet someone that THEY are attracted to -inside AND out. Theres nothing wrong with that. Ever look at someone and say wow he/she’s hot! and the person next to you sais yuck!? Too much emphasis is put on sex way too early in relationships. Where is the fun in getting to know someone, become friends and build up that wonderful sexual tension? People seem to hop from one person to another these days. If I stay single the rest of my life that will be just fine. I am happy, healthy and have great friends and family.
Good luck to everyone here -be happy and stay healthy!
Shirley
June 22nd, 2008 at 7:49 am
My personal style is matching- my clothes-shoes- purse and jewerly.That’s the way I am. I don’t care how you dress(as a man). We are going out to have a good time and that is that you are who you are. I don’t plan on changing for you so why should you change for me.
June 22nd, 2008 at 8:04 am
dear Darla Try bare minerials makeup! It’s a great product. When I switched to it from liquid make what a difference, Lines seem disapare, It all natural and it last a really long time. Watch for it on OVC you get the best deals. you can also take the product that you bought to a bare mineral store and they will help you applying and show you tricks I guarentee you will look younr and natural. I think most men was natural look over the vamp look good luck p.s. I look alot younger than 51 I like like 43or less and never tell a man you age until you got hook line and sinker. Most of them are to closed minded.
June 22nd, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Amazing that Stephen Hawkins’ nurse fell in love with him if looks are so important.
June 25th, 2008 at 7:53 am
Dear E Harmony: I cannot complain about the quantity of matches. I can complain about matches sent outside of my travel paramets and Height.
I realize you have many people with hich to deal but, I would appreciate more attractive women withihin my travel parameters and that they be no taller than 5′5″ Thank you for your consideration
July 1st, 2008 at 8:20 pm
I am not sure why it’s perfectly fine for men to want to date attractive women but when a woman expresses this as well it makes her shallow. It’s not that a guy needs to be gorgeous but just be attractive to you. I seriously doubt that if I looked 10 years older than my age, and was 10 chronological years older than my matches, I’d have much success, but here I find that, as a younger middle-aged woman who looks a decade younger than her age, routinely I’m being matched with men who look at least 20 years older than me. I don’t want to date an old man. I want to date someone youthful and close to my age, and I can count on one hand how many men my age have been presented to me here. It’s baffling. Is there a double standard at play? I don’t see me being matched with men 10-20 years my junior, yet it’s routine for me to be matched with men that much older than me.
July 7th, 2008 at 4:22 am
Nigel, Nigel, Nigel,
Dude let’s be realistic. As someone who has recently lost weight and become more active can attest, it does matter. People who feel good about themselves give off an aura that is attractive to other people.
We’ve all heard comments like “they really let themselve go,” or “he/she takes pride in their appearance.” Fair or not it is reality. If you feel good about yourself people will sense it.
I am not saying that you should put on a fake show, but I am saying take pride in your health and appearance regardless of what that may be. Be the best that you can be. You can wear whatever you want. Feel good about yourself and you will be attractive to others.
July 20th, 2008 at 8:58 am
I read all of the comments and appreciate what you each have said and thank you for taking the time to express yourselves.
I don’t believe that one’s physical appearance inherently affects their lovability. Its their perception that affects their lovability. I am learning this and internalizing it, but it is a process. I am attractive and have gone thru periods of gaining and losing weight and honestly there is no connection between my looks and others being attracted to me.
I believe that the referenced study’s conclusion are invalid. There is too much subjectivity involved to be able to produce any sort of valuable information. Most likely its the women who have greater self-esteem that rated the attributes higher. Self-esteem is not about how you look. Its about recognizing one’s worth.
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Hell yae…about it mattering what people look like and stuff. I’m 39 years old and I work my ass off on the treadmill, and in the gym, and with a trainer…and what was the original question?
ohh..yea…I have been quite disappointed with e-harmony. I got a lot of ‘matches’….funny… of men that were older than I am, had bigger bellies that I have, and played golf.
Did I mention that “I work my ass off???”’ I just divorced one of those! I hate golf and the shoes suck.
July 24th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
The matches are not based on looks. They are based on internal perspectives. So a guy that is early 50’s with a belly and possibly little to no hair can still think the way they did ten years earlier. Body has changed but the mind and personality just grew richer and more vibrant. This is what the matches are based upon.
If we don’t like the matches that have been put in place for us all we have to do is close them out. Lots of people sign up for their services and surely someone will come available for those that are a tad picky.
August 9th, 2008 at 2:47 am
Your attitude to appearance and the body does matter when looking for a partner, as it gives signals as to values. I took up proper exercise (the most important being running outdoors) even though I am of the right weight/BMI because I needed some more activity in my life and wanted to be fit and healthy into old age, and blatantly because I am looking for a man who is also fit and healthy, intends to stay that way, and is physically attractive to me. The other men in my family make the effort, so I’m used to the idea of men making an effort. I enjoy taking care of myself physically for the sake of finding and keeping a man and don’t envisage letting myself go - but I expect a man to do the same. Finally, it is noticeable that the more perceptive men out there actually look for women who do outdoor sports because they are more likely to keep up exercise after marriage and not let themselves go, because they are doing something they enjoy rather than just working out in the gym for the sake of image. So it’s a delicate balance.
August 10th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
I find it interesting how handsome guys prefer women who aren’t as good looking because the fact is, it would take the attention away from what the men were getting and will get directed to the woman. And vice versa, often times you will see an ugly guy with a very attractive woman. Take Paulina Porizkova and her husband, Ric Ocasek of The Cars, or Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel. Why? These unattractive men get the attention they themselves never had, via these knock-out women. It’s a male ego thing again.
Beautiful women out there…….Good Luck! We need it!