10 November 2010
Seven ways to help you meet Mr or Miss Right
by Fran Creffield
Unfortunately, there’s no magic formula when it comes to finding the love of your life. If there were, someone would bottle it, sell it and become a billionaire. However, there are some strategies you can use to help you along your journey to find Mr or Miss Right...
Unfortunately, there’s no magic formula when it comes to finding the love of your life. If there were, someone would bottle it, sell it and become a billionaire. However, there are some strategies you can use to help you along your journey to find Mr or Miss Right, rather than continually meeting Mr or Miss Right Now. And the good news is you can employ these tactics straight away. Here are our guidelines to help you find the one:
1. Look to your past
Before going into a new relationship, it’s always helpful to evaluate your previous relationships. By working out what worked – and what didn’t – in the past, you can be more confident about what you want from your next relationship. If you don’t follow this process you may well fall back into bad habits.
2. Be yourself
On a date it’s tempting to project an image of yourself that you think the other person wants to see, rather than simply being yourself. But ultimately, this is counter-productive. By being honest about who you are from the start, you will stand a much better chance of finding love with someone who is interested in the real you. And therefore, someone who is interested in a relationship with the real you.
3. Be positive
Try not to focus on the little things that niggle you about a date, such as the fact that you don’t think they call you enough. Instead try and be tolerant – by reacting to these personality facets that you see in your dates, you will end up with a negative mindset. By letting go, you will be able to open your mind to new dating opportunities. Work out why you react to certain behaviours (maybe they occurred in a past relationship that ended badly) and then release yourself from them.
4. Have respect for yourself
We talk about this a lot at eHarmony, but it really is so important that you feel good about yourself before you start dating. If you don’t, then why should anyone else? So, make sure you have respect for yourself, and for other people. By doing this, you will inspire the same feelings in other people – and if they don’t you’ll be able to see this straight away and give them the elbow.
5. Don’t pigeonhole
Everybody thinks they have a ‘type’, but if you look at your past relationships you’ll probably find they have as much to separate them as they have in common. Who knows what your Mr/Miss Right is going to look like? Try to ensure you keep an open mind, and if you meet someone you connect with, don’t dismiss them on the basis that they aren’t your ‘type’. You never know where this open mindset might lead you.
6. Work out what you’re looking for
On the other hand, knowing what you want in a person will help you make better choices when dating. Make a list of the qualities your partner should definitely have, and the things that are an absolute deal breaker for you (such as smoking). If your personal beliefs and values are in line with your date’s, then you are on the right path to a successful relationship. If you have to compromise, seriously ask yourself if they’re the right person for you.
7. Be realistic
If only finding love was as simple as it seems to be in some books and films. Unfortunately, in the real world you have to be a bit more realistic with your expectations. Forget about WHEN or HOW you think you’ll meet the one and simply work on finding them. It’s a journey, and one which will lead you to meet lots of wonderful people – but only if you have an open mind. Good luck!
At eHarmony we have a different way of looking at online dating. A way that goes far deeper than simply what you look like or what your interests are. We match you on true compatibility. Our Compatibility Matching System™ finds singles who match you on key dimensions, such as personality, character and sense of humour. This means you’re matched on the qualities that really matter to you when it comes to dating and finding a partner.