1 March 2011
What he’s really looking for in a woman
by Christian Carter
There's a type of woman men refer to as a "cool girl". She might not be the most attractive woman in the room, but there's just something about her that men find irresistible. Read this article to discover the qualities that make a man see you as the "cool girl" he just has to get to know...
By Christian Carter Author of best-selling eBook Catch Him & Keep Him and free newsletter.
Are you the kind of woman a great guy is attracted to and wants to have a deep, connected relationship with? Just what is it that makes a man see you as someone he sees as relationship material rather than something casual?
To share a few tips on how attraction works with men, let me tell you about the “cool girl”.
“Cool girl” is guy-speak for the kind of woman who is attractive to men in a way that even they can’t explain and won’t tell you about…but I will.
You see, “cool girl” is code for a woman who embodies certain qualities that, together, trigger attraction in a man – an emotionally mature man – at a deep level. Let me explain a bit more about what I mean…and what he’s thinking.
“There’s just something about her”
If you’ve ever heard a guy talk about a woman being a “cool girl”, you probably saw him talk about her with a smile.
A “cool girl” has a certain positive emotional energy that men can relate to. She might not necessarily be the most physically attractive woman in the room, but there’s just something about her that men find irresistible.
Here’s that “something”…
Cool girls bring funny, positive thoughts and feelings to situations to create an experience that men will want to have again and again
That’s because a cool girl understands that creating a foundation of positive experiences with a man makes him connect to her so that he wants more and more of her in his life, not less.
Cool girls are willing to go with the flow when it comes to social things but make assertions when they have opinions and ideas
Men, especially those with high-powered, stressful careers, don’t want more stress from the women in their lives. They want to come home to a woman who can be flexible about plans instead of rigid and set in her ways. However, they also respect a woman who has boundaries and says clearly and in plain language what is not okay with her.
Cool girls have options and things to do that keep them satisfied so they don’t feel like they’re left out if they’re not invited to something
And even if they are left out, they don’t complain about it or even mention it – they find something to do that makes them happy. When you make a man your entire world, he starts to see you as another responsibility for him rather than a partner. Take responsibility for your own happiness, and you become that much more attractive to a man.
Cool girls prefer that a man make up his own mind; they don’t try to make a man do something
Whenever you try to convince someone to do something, the other person will naturally resist you. And when you try to do this with a guy, something else happens – he starts to feel less attracted to you. Show him that you respect his ideas and appreciate him by giving him the chance to be him.
Cool girls know that the way they feel and talk about themselves is how men will feel about them
If you have a tendency to talk negatively about yourself – your weight, your intelligence, or your life – don’t be surprised if a man will start to see you in that context. Do yourself a favor by always talking kindly about yourself so that a man sees you and talks about you in the same way.
And the number one “something” every cool girl has that attracts a man? A life outside of him. Be that girl with the life he wants to be part of…every day. The best time to start doing this is when you’re still single – use this time to really explore your interests, nurture your friendships, and enjoy the choices that being on your own gives you. Practicing these small shifts instantly amplifies the cool girl attributes in you…and makes you the kind of girl he wants to see again and again. Cool?
Understanding attraction and how it works is absolutely critical if you want to create a connected, lasting relationship with a man. To learn more about the kind of woman a great guy is attracted to for the long term, subscribe to Christian’s free e-newsletter. He’ll tell you what makes a guy want to commit to you, and what you can do to get him there without any convincing or game playing.