6 April 2011
Five ways to know you’ve had a great first date
The nerves that often set in on a first date can make it hard to work out how you really feel. So, how can you know if you’ve had a great first date or not?
Read our tell-tale signs to find out if you’re on the road to finding love…
1. You’re excited
This isn’t just about nerves, but a feeling of positive anticipation about your date. You should feel good about planning what you’re going to wear, or where you’re going to go together. Meeting someone you’ve talked to online for weeks can be an exciting experience. While it’s ok to feel nervous, if you’re someone who suffers from anxiety, remind yourself that there’s no commitment involved – just the chance to have a great time with some new company.
Warning signs: If you’re not excited at all, maybe you’re really not that interested in meeting them. On the other hand, fear may have taken hold: in this case you should remind yourself that if you don’t take chances you’ll never meet new people. If a recent break-up is holding you back, take some time out until you’re ready.
2. It feels natural
First dates are rarely going to be completely easy, especially those first few minutes where you’re both trying to get the conversation flowing. You’ll probably reference events you’ve talked about on email or on the phone, and hopefully relax into a more natural conversation. As the date progresses, look for this feeling of ease – if you find yourself simply enjoying the conversation, this is a great sign of a successful first date.
Warning signs: If conversation stalls or you find yourself mentally listing little things that annoy you about your date, then you’re probably not onto a winner. However, keep in mind that a few idiosyncrasies may become ‘cute’ once you get to know the person. It’s about knowing yourself well enough to know what a genuine ‘deal-breaker’ is for you.
3. You’re interested in each other
Natural curiosity will be present on a great first date – each partner should want to find out as much as possible about the other. You should be exchanging information verbally and also assessing them through their body language and actions. For example, does he have a nice smile? Is she polite to the waiter? Are you making each other laugh?
Warning signs: If you find yourself losing thread of what your date is talking about, you may be lacking mutual interest. Alternatively, if your date seems to be looking away or not engaging in the conversation, they may have made up their mind about you. That said, always give a date a fair go – they might glance around the room a few times simply because they’re nervous.
4. It ends naturally
If you both seem relaxed and reluctant to end the date, this is a positive sign of a great first date. When it comes to the goodbye hug or kiss, the level of sexual tension is another indicator. You will hopefully feel more attracted to this person than you did a few hours before.
Warning signs: If your date seems to be rushing the night along, by saying things like, “I’m so tired, I better head off soon”, then they’re probably just not feeling it. Body language is important here too – did you get a quick handshake or awkward hug? If you notice you’re doing the rushing or handshaking, acknowledge to yourself, and you’re date that while you’ve had a great time, it’s unlikely that there’ll be a romantic future between you.
5. What happens next?
Following up after a date within a few days is important to keep a potential relationship moving forward. If there’s interest, at least one person should get in touch to say thanks for a great time, and perhaps suggest another date.
Warning signs: An extended period of silence. Work and personal commitments can get in the way, but it doesn’t take too much time to make a quick call or write a short email. If someone wants to follow up on a date they generally will. On the other hand, multiple or overly personal messages should also ring alarm bells of too much too soon.