Relationship Advice

28 February 2012

7 strategies for finding ‘The One’

by eHarmony

Single women, this is essential reading. Here’s how to speed up the tricky process of finding your soul mate.


While some women relish the single life, others are ready to meet that perfect man. But spotting this elusive person can be very frustrating and leaves many women feeling disillusioned. These essential dos and don’ts are designed to help you hone your skills. Read on to accelerate the process of finding that special someone.

1. Be proactive

As good as it might sound, you are unlikely to find a good-looking, kind, witty and sensitive single man while resting on your laurels. Instead of expecting him to introduce himself at any minute, actively look for him. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself but take positive steps to meet new people, like taking a class in a new skill or joining a new group.

2. Expect a few hiccups along the way
You probably won’t strike gold straight away and it’s highly likely you will experience a few relationship disasters in your time. But don’t wallow in your own self-pity. Single women need to understand that a few relationship failures don’t mean your love life is doomed forever. In fact a failed relationship puts you one step closer to finding the right man. Expecting to find your soul mate immediately will probably lead to disappointment.

3. Decide what you are looking for
View your previous relationships as valuable lessons. They can teach you about who it is you’re looking for and the type you should avoid at all costs. It might also help to think about what attributes you are looking for in your perfect boyfriend so that you can put yourself in their path. If you are searching for someone who shares your love of music, then go to concerts and festivals where you will be surrounded by potential partners.

But don’t be too prescriptive. If you have a minutely detailed picture of your ideal partner, they will be very hard to find.

4. Work on your confidence
Men find single women with confidence extremely attractive. So, you need to work on your self-esteem and learn to love yourself before you find someone else. If you are comfortable in your own skin, you will exude confidence and the right person will value you for who you are.

5. Highlight your strengths

Most women – whether single or happily hitched – are not entirely content with their bodies. From the size of our bums to the plumpness of our lips, we all have something we fixate on. But most single men appreciate real women. So accept your imperfections and accentuate your strengths. Learn to make the best of what you’ve got and highlight what makes you special.

6. Don’t be scared to let someone know you’re interested

If you have had your eye on someone all night but he’s not coming your way, don’t be afraid to approach him. After all, you might not get another chance. Obviously read the signs first – is he looking your way and smiling? Is he without another woman?

If so, when the moment’s right, walk up and introduce yourself. Talk to him for a while and then go and sit back down. The next move will be up to him.

7. Be true to yourself

If you’re sitting opposite the best looking person you’ve ever seen, it’s tempting to compromise who you are in order to move things forward. But if you’re not true to yourself, disaster will strike later. Always be genuine and never pretend to be someone you’re not. If someone is truly right for you, then all you need to be is yourself.

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