19 April 2012
How to tell if your date is serious
When you first meet a match the one thing you want to know above everything else is whether you can trust them. No-one wants to waste time dating someone who has no intention of staying around so here is a handy guide to help you discover if your date is sincere without having to ask.
These days most people who use dating websites are honest and genuine. Once you meet a match you connect with the question at the forefront of your mind will be are they serious about wanting to develop a relationship with you? This isn’t the sort of question you want to come right out and ask because it could make you seem a bit pushy or needy so we have put together a few things you can look out for to reassure youself that your date is genuine or let you know when you are onto a non-starter.
The majority of our communication is non-verbal and you can tell a lot about a date’s intentions by their body language. Look for signs of engagement – someone who appears interested in you and what you have to say. This is things like good eye-contact – looking at you rather than over your shoulder or what is going on at the next table; nodding or making small verbal gestures encouraging you to carry on with what you are saying or to say more – you will feel like you are being listened to and that what you are saying is interesting; open, welcoming body posture – chin up, arms and legs uncrossed, body facing you rather than turned away indicating that they are open to developing a connection – their body will often reveal this before their mind consciously knows it.
Some people are very nervous on the first few dates and their body language can be harder to read. If after three or four dates you feel like the person isn’t engaging with you, listening to what you are saying or gives the impression they would rather be somewhere else then they probably aren’t worth wasting any more of your time on.
Spending time together
A serious date will want to spend time with you whenever they can. They may not have very much time to spare but you will get the impression that if they had more they would like to spend it with you. When they are with you they won’t seemed rushed and distracted or as though they are fitting the date in between other important appointments.
The time you spend with someone when there is a strong connection will slip by effortlessly and you will wonder where the hours went – time flies when you are having fun!
Words and actions
It is important to listen to what someone says and not discount it because of your own insecurities. A date might say they really like you and want to see you again but some people won’t regard this as a sign of their seriousness because they think their date is just being polite and won’t ever really call – some people even go so far as to make a dismissive remark when they are given a compliment. It is far better to give someone the benefit of the doubt and trust what they say is true rather than dismiss it. You could also be dismissing the chance of a relationship because your date could get the impression that you aren’t serious about them.
Nice words are all very well and some dates will be natural charmers but what really lets you know if someone is serious is their actions – do they call? Do they turn up on time and at the right place? Do they treat you with respect? Not everyone will be able to woo you with words but how they treat you will let you know whether they are serious.
When you have spent time with someone where there is a mutual attraction and strong connection you will come away feeling good about yourself and about them. You will get a sense that you brought something valuable into another person’s life and it will be an experience you will want to repeat. A serious date who isn’t too shy about expressing their feelings will tell you how much they enjoyed meeting you too and as a result you will feel appreciated and special.
Someone having serious intentions towards you is only a good thing if you are serious about them too.