8 March 2011
How important is physical attraction?
Though we encourage eHarmony members to first focus on their matches’ inner qualities, we understand that physical attraction is important, and at some point, members will use this quality to evaluate potential matches.
Some people still believe physical appearance is the most important quality to consider when evaluating a potential partner. So even though the ‘science behind love’ doesn’t show that attractiveness is a quality that predicts a happy, long-term relationship, why do some people only use that criteria in the evaluating process?
Though physical attractiveness is subjective, there seems to be some general standards that most people agree upon, and most couples, it seems feel they are within a few levels of attractiveness of each other.
Here are some thoughts to consider:
If you’re someone who thinks they’re average on the attractiveness scale but highly value a potential partner’s attractiveness, are you open to someone in the same general attractiveness range as you?
Are you are only interested in someone who rates high on the attractiveness scale and brings much more to the looks department than you do?
Does this mean you won’t consider someone because you don’t find them attractive, even though others could similarly discount you?
In no way do we believe that a couple can’t be happy together and have a successful relationship when one partner more attractive than the other. But we’re curious about the people who are only interested in a partner who is more attractive than they are because this approach can be a challenge.
If they value physical appearance so highly, how can they expect a much more attractive person to be interested in them? Here are a few theories:
1. They’re rating themselves too highly. If someone believes they’re several levels of attractiveness higher than they actually are, they feel they’re just as attractive as the people they’re seeking.
2. They have a compensating quality. Their profession or financial status is such a strong attribute that it levels the attractiveness playing field.
3. They’re driven by biology. No matter their own level of attractiveness, some people, consciously or subconsciously, are driven to provide their children with the most attractive genes possible. So regardless of its effectiveness, they will continue to only consider attractive potential partners.
So where do you stand? Do you highly value your partner’s level of attractiveness? Are you only interested in people much more attractive than you? If you have any comments, thoughts or theories of your own, feel free to share them below.