Relationship Advice

4 May 2011

Confidence boosters for men

by eHarmony

Confidence is about being at ease with yourself and making everyone around you feel the same. It isn’t something that comes naturally to many people. It takes a combination of body language, conversational skills and emotion.


Regardless of their looks, some men can charm women instantly. They have what is commonly referred to as the ‘wow factor’. Or put simply, they radiate confidence.

Take a look at these five top tips to kick-start your confidence.

Fake it till you make it
Because you feel nervous about speaking to women, you might assume that they are aware of this automatically. In fact, this is far from the truth, as contrary to popular belief, women are not mind readers. Even if you don’t feel confident, try faking it instead.

By pretending to be completely at ease, one of the following things will happen: you’ll still be nervous (which you were going to be anyway), or you’ll actually become more self-assured and eventually you won’t be faking it – your natural confidence will be shining through.

Focus your attention outwards
How many times have you wanted to speak to a woman, but instead been overwhelmed by the little voice in your head telling you you’re not smart enough, rich enough, attractive enough? Unsurprisingly this is a huge confidence roadblock.

By assuming that the other person will find you witty, smart and fascinating, you can focus your mental energy on engaging in conversation, rather than wasting it on talking yourself out of it.

Use your eyes and smile
Looking someone in the eye is vital when you talk to them. Women often say that ‘the eyes’ are one of their most important features in a man. There’s nothing more off-putting than trying to talk to someone who won’t look you in the eye. And while you’re looking them in the eye, keep smiling as women will see this as a sign of self-confidence.

Treat yourself
At eHarmony, we are all about looking beyond physical appearance and finding a deeper compatibility between people. But, looking good is still important. If you think you look attractive, you will exude confidence.

Whether you need a haircut or a new pair of shoes, treat yourself. You’ll stand taller, receive compliments, and generally feel good about yourself. And that will show through. It’s also worth noting that women often cite the way a man carries himself as being crucial, so make sure your posture is tall and proud.

Never apologise
The way you treat yourself informs how other people treat you. If you insist on apologising for the size of your home whenever people come to visit, they’ll soon start to see you in a certain way. Instead of saying ‘I’m sorry there’s not much room in my tiny flat’ say ‘I love my flat, it’s really bright and cosy.’

We know you’re probably not completely satisfied with every aspect of your life, but the more you put a positive spin on things , the better you’ll begin to think about it all.

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Confidence boosters for men, 6.7 out of 10 based on 28 ratings

Comments

1

Chris

9 June 2011 07:02

The attached article is good as far as self esteem and impressions are concerned.

I take acceptation to NEVER APOLOGISE.

Yes do not demean or put your self or others down. The positive spin is the correct/right way to go, cute and cozy with a great view etc.

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2

Geoff

26 September 2011 12:21

I agree with Chris, perhaps “Never Apologise” should be re-worded as “Don’t apologise unnecessarily”.

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3

daniel

20 October 2011 08:35

me too never apologize never ever instead use the thought patterns a potential positive instead of a negative which in this case is the apology

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4

Cliff

7 July 2012 06:17

I concur with all points in the article – with one exception. If you are wrong, made a mistake, turned up late, then apologise. My experience has been that if you demonstrate some remorse for screwing up, the response you get will almost always be positive. I do agree with not apologising for “facts”. They are what they are. face it

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