4 May 2011
Five ‘about me’ profile writing tips
We all know that in a good eHarmony profile, photos are important. But if you really want to add some magic to your profile, make sure your ‘About Me’ page shines!
It sounds simple in theory; post a photo of yourself and describe who you are. But in reality this can be no easy feat. You have to walk the fine line between showing how great you are, while remaining honest.
In our professional opinion – formed after reading thousands of profiles – eHarmony users are overwhelmingly honest. In fact, on meeting many of our married success couples, they mention honesty as one of their partner’s great qualities. But often people just don’t know how to present themselves in both an honest and attractive light.
Here are five key tips:
1. Omit things you can’t spell
The most common gripe we hear from women about men’s profiles is that they are poorly spelled and punctuated – and there seems to be a real gender bias here. Gentlemen (and in fact everyone should do this) double-check your spelling. Paste your profile answers into a word document beforehand and make sure all the i’s are dotted and t’s crossed.
2. Don’t fuss the small stuff
We see many users complaining about ‘subjective incompatibilities’. These represent the things that would never be seen as ‘deal-breakers’ once a couple is in a relationship, but can appear off-putting in the initial stages.
For example, you may be a dog lover but if you spend your entire ‘About Me’ profile talking about how much you love your four-legged friend, someone who doesn’t own a pet may be put off. However, after meeting, your match may come to love your dog as much as you do. It’s simply a question of being moderate when making a first impression.
3. Highlight the positives
The overall tone of your profile is very important. Negativity and aggression put people off, so try to avoid saying what you hate (‘politicians really drive me mad’), or describing the matches you won’t communicate with (‘I can’t stand people who like Star Wars’). That’s why we have the ‘Must Haves and Can’t Stands’ section separate from your ‘About Me’ profile, making it less personal. Try to be as positive as possible, talking about what you enjoy and what you’re looking for in a potential partner.
4. Reveal more than work and family
Your ‘About Me’ profile is where you give your matches a tantalising glimpse of the real you. However, if your profile only talks about your work and family, your matches may find it hard to connect with you. You may think you are giving the impression that you are responsible and caring, but others may interpret this as lack of time for someone new in your life. By all means talk about what interests you, but don’t overdo it.
5. Avoid being vague
A close second to ‘being unable to spell’ is ‘not saying anything at all’. Some people manage to fill their whole profile without saying anything of interest. For example, rather than saying ‘I like to enjoy life to the full’, explain how you do this. Maybe you have an interesting hobby, or you like to go travelling – the most important thing is to provide examples to give your profile some colour. By saying ‘I loved travelling around India last year’ you stand a good chance of drawing in someone who has had a similar experience.
If you find it hard to talk about yourself, then don’t worry, you’re in good company! Many eHarmony users feel the same. The key is taking the time to write your profile, re-reading and revising if necessary. If you don’t feel too self-conscious, get a friend to read it and ask them whether they think it’s an accurate representation of you.
The overall conclusion of our analysis of profiles is that anything is better than nothing. Or rather, in numbers, twice as many people will invite matches to communicate if they have 100 words in their profiles compared with those that have only 10. If your profile is looking a little bare, it’s time to start writing!