28 June 2012
10 ways to get perspective on your dating profile
by Fran Creffield
Writing your dating profile can often be the hardest part of the internet dating process, Sometimes people get too close to see if it is really any good or not so here are some tips to help.
Writing about yourself is by far the hardest type of writing to do. The aim of it is simply to capture people’s attention and make them want to ask you out on a date. That simple task can cause a lot of confusion and often people lose perspective and end up writing far too much or not enough – either way it can be a frustrating process! Here we look at some of the most effective ways of making sure you strike the right balance and have a profile that lets people see that you are someone worth getting to know.
1. Time – there is no rush to complete your profile. Take your time and rewrite it as often as you want or need to. Try to set aside a couple of hours to devote to it when there are no other distractions.
2. Mood – you will write a much better piece about yourself if you are feeling good about yourself and your place in the world. Writing it after along stressful day at work or when you are tired or angry with someone will reflect in what you write. Choose a time when you feel most relaxed and happy.
3. Longhand first – some people have never written about themselves before and once they start it is like a dam opened and their life story comes pouring out. If you are worried about writing too much, write it down with a pen and pad to start with and then go through and pick out the bits you really want to include.
4. Time away from it – when you feel you have written it to the best of your ability leave it for a couple of days. Sometimes we get too close to something and a couple of days away from it will help give a clear perspective when we return.
5. Printed copy – copy and paste your profile into a word document, check the spelling and grammar and then print out a copy. Reading something on a printed page is very different to reading it on a computer screen. Have a pen handy so you can mark any changes you want to make.
6. Read it out loud – you don’t need an audience, just read it aloud to yourself and see if it sounds right. This process will show if there are any obvious errors with grammar (where you need to stop for breath there should be a comma or full-stop) and whether what you have written makes sense.
7. Is it true? – there is little point in posting a brilliantly written profile if it bears no reflection on who you are. The aim of it is to get you dates and you want your profile to be as accurate as possible while still enjoyable to read. If you post a profile that you don’t believe reflects who you are then it can cause problems when you start talking to matches because they won’t have been attracted to the ‘real’ you.
8. Ask a friend to read it – friends are good people to ask for advice on profiles because they are likely to see things about you which you may not be able to see in yourself. They will usually have your best interests at heart and will be brave enough to tell you if there are any glaring mistakes.
9. Trial it – think about the age and sex of the kind of match you would like to meet and then see if you can find a friend of that age and sex to read your profile. What you want to know from them is whether they would want to get to know this person more based just on the profile and if not, why not?
10. Post it for feedback – each month eHarmony posts one anonymous ‘About Me’ profile on the advice site so other eHarmony users can give their feedback. It is a great way of getting feedback on your profile and is a popular resource for many members. All you need to do to participate is email us the contents of your profile, indicating your gender, and whether you would be happy for us to use your first name, or you can keep it anonymous. We will only publish comments that are considered to be constructive criticism so you don’t need to worry about anyone making unkind remarks.