Relationship Advice

2 May 2013

4 profile clues that someone is ready for a relationship

by Fran Creffield

When someone posts an online profile you might think that it means they’re ready for a relationship. This isn't always the case.


detective

Posting a profile online, or even paying a subscription, are signs that someone wants a relationship but not necessarily that they are ready for one. The difference is an important one when you are reviewing your matches. You want to choose people who are serious about finding a partner to avoid time wasters and people who bail at the last minute.

There are lots of reasons why someone might not be ready and the clues can often be found in their profile. What someone writes and what they actually feel can be quite different so here are some tips to help you read between the lines.

1. What kind of partner do they want

This is where it’s most obvious whether someone is ready for a relationship or not. Be wary of someone who describes their ideal partner in minute detail down to body type, hair colour, age etc – the chances are their expectations will be too rigid and no human will ever match their fantasy.

Also be cautious if someone lists lots of characteristics that they ‘don’t want’ e.g. selfishness, dishonesty, clinginess or high maintenance – this could mean that they are still smarting from a previous relationship where these things were big issues.

Ideally their description of a new partner should be open, flexible and their preferences not set in stone. They are open to meeting someone new as opposed to scared of making the same mistake again.

2.      Their description of themselves

If someone has low self esteem and doesn’t think much of themselves it will usually affect whether they are ready for a relationship. They may want one in the belief that they would feel better about themselves if they were in a couple. Initially this might be the case but over time their low self worth would resurface and affect the relationship. How is it possible to believe that someone else thinks you’re great if you don’t think you are?

Signs to look out for in a profile are self criticism, disparaging remarks and a lack of information about themselves – instead they write about their friends, work or hobbies rather than their personality and character. Look for people who seem to believe that they are someone worth getting to know – they are the ones who are ready for a relationship.

3.      Their lifestyle

In order for someone to have a relationship they need to have time and space in their life to devote to it. If their life is so busy that it takes them days to respond to an email or fix a date then they may struggle to fit in time to get to know you.

On the other hand if someone is online 24/7, or has very little going on, this could also mean that they aren’t ready but waiting for someone to come and give their life meaning and purpose. Ideally a profile will reveal a balanced life of someone who is happy with their own company but open to new experiences.

4.      Their past

Someone’s attitude to their past will reveal more about them than the actual events it contains.  To be ready for a relationship they need to believe in love and be willing to trust. Without this you will have to work very hard to break down their defences before you reach their heart. The words they use in their profile will often reveal whether this is the case. Be wary of someone who repeatedly mentions their ex, it could be a sign that that they are still hurt from the break up.

Profiles are only an introduction to someone; they are not the whole story.  Reading the clues it contains may help you decide who you want to get to know more but it is no substitute for getting to know matches in person. Trust your intuition and ask if you’re unsure whether someone is serious about having a relationship.

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4 profile clues that someone is ready for a relationship, 10.0 out of 10 based on 1 rating

Comments

1

David

2 May 2013 22:34

Lots of the warnings in this article I have been completely unaware of, take time to read as much advice as you can, looking for a happy relationship is serious you can’t be too careful.

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2

terry

4 May 2013 07:00

i like too cancle thk and i wood like get my money back pl i am in a Relationship i hop ear from u soon

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3

eHarmony

8 May 2013 11:23

Hello Terry,

To discuss your account, please call our Customer Care team on 1800 707 894. Our team will be happy to help.

Best wishes,
Emily
eHarmony Advice

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4

vivien

13 May 2013 11:17

I have to agree with the article, most of my matches hardly describe themselves, all they seem to say is “Yeh, want to be happy in a relationship” and have put up horrible unshaven dirty looking pictures of themselves and ramble on about how there friends are the only important thing in their lives, honestly I don’t know why people have bothered even to pay for a subscription when clearly they are not ready for any relationship, I have closed most of my matches as it has been appauling

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5

Sherian

18 May 2013 23:12

Well I’ve filled everything out, what I don’t like, smoking ! An age bracket & you keep sending me guys over 54 … 60 is way to old for me don’t you think ?? An no not one guy in my matches you have sent me even matches me ?? Go figure !

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6

Shirley Nicol

19 May 2013 02:19

I am not over thrilled as yet. Will keep trying for a little longer.

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7

Carl Fairhurst

19 May 2013 06:11

ladies, if you want to quickly get rid of a good man that is worth having, put him on the spot, ask him his intentions, or tell him you are only interested in a “serious” relationship as early as possible. One who says yes to a complete stranger is either lying or desparate. I was asked in a third message if I was “looking for a serious relationship or just some fun”. I objected to the question from someone I hadn’t even met. She clearly didn’t like my honest answer. No problem, I have immense patience to find a woman who wants me first, then a relationship. Not the other way round.

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8

mike brady

19 May 2013 07:55

you have opened my eyes,and it makes me think am i pushing my self to much too soon

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9

john

19 May 2013 08:40

what an interesting ‘thread’,the basic theme is veryclose to the mark. Yes the majority seem to express the inbalance mainly towards ‘fun’ etc when as they have gone down life’s path the idea of ‘balance ‘ would seem to be more thew thing as we still havew to commit to the essence of our being which is work and fun .A bit old fashioned but reality ‘bites’

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10

ann

19 May 2013 08:44

good article, I too wonder why some bother to subscribe, perhaps they use the site to while away their time albeit an expensive excersise.

5/5

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11

Julie

19 May 2013 12:17

I find that lack of imagination leads to repetitive statements such as “walking the beach in the sunset” which doesnt tell anything about a person’s personality, or even their real reason for being on a dating site. Poorly spelt and ungrammatical waffle is another disappointment. Give thought to one’s preferences in a partner, not just what “you” like.

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12

eHarmony

20 May 2013 10:34

Hello Sherian,

It sounds like you may need to review your Match Settings. You can do this by going into your Account Settings in your account and selecting the correct age boundary you’d like to receive matches within. You can then also select the level of important of your matches age. Each filter has a scale of importance from 1-7. If you put the importance of the age filter at 7, then we won’t send you any matches outside of this criteria.

I hope this helps, but if you have any further questions, please call our Customer Care team on 1800 707 894. They’ll be happy to help either with your settings, or any other questions you may have.

Best wishes,
Emily
eHarmony Advice

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13

eHarmony

20 May 2013 10:36

Hi Shirley,

Is there something in particular that you’re unhappy with? If you have any questions, please let us know or call our Customer Care team on 1800 707 894. They’ll be happy to help.

Best wishes,
Emily
eHarmony Advice

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14

Ricky

21 May 2013 05:55

Good article. It really places things in perspective. I have over 50 ‘matches’ in my inbox, and while I take the time out to read each one, I find there is a lot of arm waving incoherent babble!
If I decided to smile at someone or email them, I get frustrated that they never reply. I presume it’s because they too are inundated with their own inbox and not because they have dismissed me!

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15

Me

21 May 2013 08:24

Can you remove me completely from Eharmony? As I can not do it as I have half done my profile.

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16

eHarmony

22 May 2013 10:11

Hello,

Thanks for your message. If you’d like some help with your account, please call our Customer Care team on 1800 707 894. They’ll be happy to help.

Best wishes,
Emily
eHarmony Advice

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17

Happy

25 May 2013 23:20

I also think that a lot of people sign up for the free communication weekends without giving it a great deal thought and after that don’t go ahead with a subscription.

It is hard work getting back into dating after being in a long term relationship and sometimes people may think they are ready but when it comes to actually doing something about it, they clearly aren’t ready, hence the lack of replies.

I have found a lot of my matches don’t even answer the question “what is the most important quality you are looking for in another person”, so I wonder if they are really looking for someone.

I’m using eharmony as a secondary place to meet people. You can’t beat the old fashion way, going out. I’m not big on the pub/bar scene, but get some friends together and enjoy yourself. You can’t replace meeting people in person, you can’t find behind the Internet/computer!

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18

Clare

31 May 2013 23:27

Good article. It takes time to read through profiles both what is said and not said.
I find it is very time consuming going through endless matches and “mismatches”. What I would like to see on the site are picture thumbnails on the “My Matches Page” as is done in the Home page, PLEASE. I like the Home page. There are many people with the same names but pictures make it much easier to keep track without having to click a profile every time which is very time consuming. Also a way of prioritising matches, like “favourites” would be great.
I have to switch the matching off for periods of time because it becomes too much and I lose track with a barrage of new matches sent every day. It takes time to read profiles and initiate or reply to people. However the norm seems be to just ignore a communication if one is not interested in continuing or responding to a communication. As rude as I think this is I can understand why people do this – it is unnecessarily challenging to manage the contacts.

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19

Liz

8 June 2013 14:09

I know of a guy on eharmony who is just a player. He sucks women in, uses them and then dumps them. He is a con man too. Beware ladies … some guys just lie in their profile, just to hook you.

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20

Margery

9 June 2013 06:29

I have corresponded with several members,but only got to the point of meeting in person once. After a lengthy discussion face-to-face, what came across to me very strongly was an air of desperation on the of the part of the would-be match: I felt that it wasn’t necessarily ME that he wanted, but anybody who could fill a gaping void in his life. As no one person can “complete” another,I had to be honest and tell him that I felt we were seeking different things.

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21

eHarmony

11 June 2013 10:11

Hello Liz,

Thank you for your message. If you are concerned about any of your matches on eHarmony, please contact matchconcerns@eharmony.com immediately. Our Risk & Safety team take all match concerns very seriously.

Best wishes,
Emily
eHarmony Advice

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22

Karen

15 June 2013 06:56

I thought people on e harmony would be more genuine than the other sites. All of them seem to want a genuine, honest, loving person yet you send them a communication and they dont even have the courtesy to respond. If you are looking for a supermodel or someone stunning have the guts to say it in your ad and make sure that you sign up for a lifetime membership because you’re going to need it. If you are looking for some fun just say so, but go on the other free sites

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23

han

21 June 2013 08:57

I keep hearing that people get a whole heap of matches sent to them but I am lucky to get one match a week. What’s going on?

I was under the impression that I could find genuine guys wanting serious relationships but after meeting a couple of them I really have to question this. They take what they can then move on, so be careful ladies. They guys sell themselves well…

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24

eHarmony

21 June 2013 11:13

Hi Han,

That doesn’t sound quite right. If you’d like to give our Customer Care team a call on 1800 707 894 and our team will be happy to help you. They’re available Monday-Friday 6am-8pm EST and Saturday 9am-3pm EST.

Best wishes,
Emily
eHarmony Advice

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25

Kath

22 June 2013 09:54

I joined eharmony nearly 2 weeks ago. I’m being fairly open minded with no real interest as yet.
It appears most of my matches are inactive as most of their profiles say they were last active over 1 month ago.
What’s going on e-harmony? Is there no real matches around anymore?

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26

eHarmony

24 June 2013 16:13

Hello Kath,

Thank you for your message, it’s great to hear that you’re being open-minded with your experience. You will be matched with people who have varying levels of activity, which could be why you’re being matched with people who were active over a month ago. We continue to match you with people who haven’t logged in for over a month as in some cases people can decide to take a month away from the site, but are then happy to come back and continue using the service. In other cases, people can go on holiday or business trips, which means they haven’t had chance to sign in.

If you’d prefer, you can archive any matches who haven’t responded to you. If you’d like some steps on how to do this, please let us know.

Best wishes,
Emily
eHarmony Advice

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27

bernadette

29 June 2013 09:30

i joined eharmony thinking it would be better than rsvp. i havent found it to be so. i find i am getting matches that are way too old for me. i find that all the men i have contacted, except for maybe three of them, have not contacted me back. when i request a photo, they do not reply either. i find this site very “boggy” and a very impersonal. its very “automated” and its difficult to get to know someone. i also think placing a banner in the profiles regarding if distance is an issue/concern would be a good idea.

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28

Geraldine

4 July 2013 12:11

It has been a few weeks since I have had any matches. Those that I have tried communicating with were either shut down by eharmony because they were dodgy/suspect in which case I appreciated eharmony’s intervention, or they just did not bother to answer the guided questions/emails sent to them. It is disappointing as I believe that there has to be like-minded people out there who do not frequent night clubs/pubs but honestly wish to meet someone to share their lives as friends/potential partners. I have assessed my settings and cannot amend it anymore than I already have. Any suggestions???

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29

eHarmony

8 July 2013 08:39

Hello Geraldine,

Thank you for your message. If you’re not receiving any matches at all, this doesn’t sound quite right. If you could give our Customer Care team a call on 1800 707 894 and they’ll be happy to help with your problem.

Best wishes,
Emily
eHarmony Advice

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30

linda

10 July 2013 12:58

I follow my gut instincts not facts & figured

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31

Terry

15 July 2013 11:52

I find the men on this are generally weirdos who only want sex, and are looking for a fantasy chick.

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32

Michelle

16 July 2013 14:21

I agree with many comments here – though not on the article. Like many others I paid money and joined EHarmony thinking it would be a better quality then other sites. It is not. People don’t respond, not even to reject you. I am getting matched with lots of people who have not been active for months. I keep getting matched also with fitness freaks which is not compatabile with any of the million profile things I filled out. Only two men have made intial contact – one who I have seen photos of on another site and believe is an African scammer and one with barely any profile who could not string a sentence together. I am so annoyed I have wasted money. I joined when it was a free weekend and that was a useless system so had to pay to really get a feel for things. Think I paid for three months as it was not much more than the rip off of one which was all I really wanted to try it. Obviously one month is not made affordable as people will do one month and quit. Had better luck with Oasis active.

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33

Michelle

16 July 2013 14:24

PS. Also is a kick in the head everytime I log in and see the “Extend Your Membership” button. They want more money for what??? Much prefer other sites where you can scroll all your options of men rather then be sent a few each day.

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34

Sheena

21 July 2013 09:46

Hi eHarmony
I am very disappointed with this web site.
I have contacted you before about my matches and have spoken to someone from eHarmony; as I was getting all my matches from Perth. I don’t live anywhere near Perth you have said that with changing my settings I will get more people from the South West, I have had one match from the southwest and the rest from Perth again. I write to almost every match with no reply. Why can’t eHarmony show who are members and who’s not it would saves time in writing knowing you won’t get an answer. I found one member on face book and it turns out that he wasn’t a member and had no intention in becoming a member. I can’t believe that there are no other people out there in the country. If you look on other sites there are heaps of people in Bunbury /Albany and surrounds all of which is in my distance setting
Please start sending matches more often

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35

eHarmony

22 July 2013 14:05

Hello Michelle,

Thanks for your message. With regards to the suitability of your matches, at eHarmony we match on your values and beliefs as opposed to your interests, which explains why you are matched with people who have different hobbies to yourself. Although you may not yourself be a keen cycling, golfer or mountain climber, it’s possible that you share the same energy levels as those who are.

If you’re concerned about any of your matches, please contact us at matchconcerns@eharmony.com immediately. We take our user’s safety very seriously.

If you have any questions, please call our Customer Care team on 1800 707 894.

Best wishes,
Emily
eHarmony Advice

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36

Julie

23 July 2013 01:09

Would love to see a “not interested” type option when replying to communication requests. I get quite a few requests that I’m not interested in and feel it’s not polite to not respond and just leave them thinking I’m rude.

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37

Michelle

23 July 2013 11:16

I take on board what you say Emily but I am being matched with people’s values and beliefs that seem to be good looks and fitness and the old healthy body, healthy mind cliche.

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38

Rob

26 July 2013 00:10

I agree with Julie. Needs a “not interested thankyou” button.
Not everybody is rude, but at the moment the only thing do is ignore if someone wants to communicate and you dont. Its hard enough for some people to put themselves out there as it is without being stuck wondering if anybody is even reading thier communications.

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39

Adele

27 July 2013 12:46

I get all these matches…I send icebreakers and questions to ones im interested in but never get a reply ….. and I get matches I don’t want and my settings are set to exactly what I am looking for….and how come we cannot chat as in …..sort of like msn or face book chat? it would make the whole getting to know you thing so much easier

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40

eHarmony

29 July 2013 10:05

Hello Adele,

Thank you for your message, it’s good to hear that you’re being proactive with your subscription by contacting your matches. I wonder if you’ve also tried sending your matches eHarmony emails too? If you feel comfortable doing so, it could be a good idea as some people like it if they can see their match has really made an effort to speak to them.

You could also ask a friend to have a look at your profile for you, to see if they can think of any way for you to improve your profile. Sometimes someone else sees things in you that you don’t see yourself, so this can be a really useful task.

I hope this helps.

Best wises,
Emily
eHarmony Advice

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41

Julie

30 July 2013 10:32

I joined on the free weekend.
I have messages to respond to.
After reading the moments above, I won’t join now
Julie

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42

Anthony

4 August 2013 07:15

Hi ,
some very interesting views on Eharmony .I also think a Thanks but no thanks type reply shoud be available ,maybe several

Age grouping could be refined and I would like Suburbs named ,rather than a city .eg , Perth .Tony .

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43

karen

4 August 2013 23:13

Hello eharmony,

I,m new to this dating…however i was not impressed when i met for a coffee with what i thought was going to be a 59yr old…however he was more like 69 or more. The photo he displayed…he was unrecogisable!
V disapointing…when i’m honest:(
My matches ages 51 – 70..not what I suggessted & how many of these men are dishonest with age???
I went on this site for honest people…

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44

Xavier

8 August 2013 15:08

I signed up some days ago but haven’t subscribed yet because I’m still setting up my profile. I think your profile should be kept on hold until you’re finished and ready to submit. Instead the profile is available to be seen the moment you sign up which is much too soon. I’m taking the time to answer as many questions as I can so it’s taking a little time to complete the profile. I’m getting matches without actually being ready to start. I feel bad for anyone who would like to communicate and I haven’t replied in any way because the profile’s not finished.

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45

denise

14 August 2013 10:26

I have only been with eharmony for a short time and I have sent many icebreakers,but have not received many replies why do men join eharmony then do not make the effort to say thanks but no thanks. I am dissapointed and a little dispondent seems I have wasted my money

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46

danielle

16 August 2013 00:26

i thought this site would be good but im not happy with my matches at all. Out of 150 ive communicated with five and only one keeps in touch via email.
Men on this site are rude and ignorant and dont respond. If your not interested i would rather know. NOT HAPPY!!!!!! Whats the point in sending questions if they are not going to respond. What a waste of money.

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47

Tamara

16 August 2013 21:11

Some great tips. But if you are reading then you’ve probably already meet one of these time wasters. I am over never hearing back from guys. You start communication and then nothing. I find them on another site and they are too busy. Just want what most oc us do a sincere honest guy who is here without judgement and open to at least chatting.

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48

eHarmony

19 August 2013 11:04

Hello Denise,

I’m sorry to hear that you’re not enjoying your eHarmony experience. I wonder if you’ve also tried sending open communication to your matches (if you feel comfortable doing so)? Although many people prefer Guided Communication, sometimes matches like it if they can see that you’ve made a real effort to communicate with them.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes,
Emily
eHarmony Advice

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49

Anna

19 August 2013 11:36

I had been in touch with a guy, who was one of the few people who responded to me. I was going to meet him for coffee, he said the first time that he was “sick”, the second time he said he needed to cancel because he had some emotional issues. This was all done by text message. It was very rude and he obviously wasn’t committed. Also, why is it that I sent about 30 requests to get to know someone, I only get back 5 responses?

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50

Jeff

22 August 2013 02:50

Hi everyone,
I have read most of the above comments with interest and note most correspondents appear dissatisfied with their experiences.
When I went through the various personality profiles, I recognized them as the genuine article, not those which are published in teenage publications. If one is brutally honest in their completion, there is a better chance of finding a match, as has happened to me. Following written communication through this site, we exchanged phone numbers and spent many hours talking. We met the first time for coffee and the next time for dinner. In fact the restaurateur had to ask us to leave because he wanted to close up. This coming weekend we are going away (separate rooms) and will learn more about each other.
I guess there will always be people who will attempt to mislead regarding their age, which is really stupid because they will caught out.
I disagree and find it insulting when correspondents assert all men are only after sex. That is untrue.
What I have found irritating is subscribers who will not post photographs of themselves and will not answer any of the questions. If they are not prepared to share something of themselves in this forum, they may continue to be secretive later which limits their chances of developing a wholesome relationship. You must give of yourself for all you are willing to receive.
Anyway, I’m happy. I have had quite a few contacts from ladies within my age group, with most of the attributes I was seeking.

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51

Kathy

26 August 2013 09:34

Wow Jeff – I was really happy to see that somebody has had a positive outcome. Internet dating is a tough game – whether you like it or not, it is a game. You have to develop a thick skin, accept rejection but still believe in yourself. I have a lot of guy friends who are constantly disappointed with who they meet – quite often the women put up deceiving photos ie old photos or ones not reflecting what they actually look like. Personally, I have not been told that I look nothing like my photo – it would be hard to hear that somebody thought that. Nobody is perfect and I will admit that a lot of guys seek perfection without justification (some should honestly look in the mirror). Perhaps people who go on dating sites should perhaps look at themselves honestly, do what they can to improve themselves both mentally and physically – in the end it comes down to being the best person you can be for yourselves, then everything else will follow. I know that I am blessed with being reasonably attractive but I too have had many disappointments & been hurt – looks are not everything and will only get you through the door. You truly have to work on yourself before you even attempt to find somebody. At the end of the day, even though most people want a relationship, it is okay to be single, so don’t be hard on yourself.

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L

29 August 2013 13:24

I have not been very impressed with this site, and it seems I am not alone in this. Most of the matches I get are too old, or too far away. Many have not answered questions or provided a photo. The format is bland. The only guys who contact me are not ones I would be interested in. RSVP is more user-friendly, but seems to be full of players!

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Richard

29 August 2013 23:39

I like this article and I did do a stint before on this site and I did find many “wanted ” a relationship but most weren’t ready or thought you could just attach it to the side of their life as an add on with benefits, instead of a commitment to grow with some one or to allow this to be a future option. It wasted a lot of time and I am very strict this time screening and hoping this does not put people off. I wan’t to trust every one if they say yes im ready but , I do believe the words need to match their actions. Great work, please Id love some feedback on my thinking Ladies??

Warmest Regards

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Sandra

31 August 2013 07:34

I signed up, and paid for the basic enrolment .. and I even downloaded the app on my iPhone … and what has it resulted in? NOTHING .. feeling disillusioned, disappointed, and slowly losing my patience and developing a ‘could care less’ attitude … and regretting having spent the money. I have a very basic, open profile, I’m open to anything really – location, distance, whatever … not in a hurry to rush into a ‘serious’ relationship but am looking forward to meeting someone with similar interests, companionship, friendship and see where it goes from there … I’ve sent ‘smiles’ , icebreakers and received no response … if i were anyone with a low self-esteem, i would be heading towards a bit of a depression … I’m going to let my membership run it’s course and let this be the last attempt at a ‘online’ dating service….(sigh)

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Andrea

9 September 2013 09:15

I don’t understand why I am receiving matches which have not been active in over month.

What’s the point providing me with these matches?

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Jen

12 September 2013 08:01

I must admit I’m a bit scared of this site at the moment.
My first communication turned out to be my first greet and meet.
It was not a pleasant experience.
The guy was at least 20 kilos heavier than his profile pic
I tried to be nice and not judge
Then the guy was obsessed with smut talk and only after one thing
He was a hell of a sweet talker!!
I feel so sorry for all his victims he will suck in on this site
Wish they could filter those guys out to a sex for free site and leave the decent ones on here
I was enjoying the experience of e harmony till him
Scared the hell out of me :)

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Elisabeth

14 September 2013 08:15

I had the same experience as Sandra.
I’ve sent smiles, icebreakers and received no response … Now I just regret paying so much money for nothing…

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Aaron

19 September 2013 06:40

Dear eHarmony,

After reading through these posts, and finding that a lot of people are having the same disappointing experience as I am.. Has the company considered matching those of us willing to reply to each other?
I also have no replies to my ice breakers or guided questions.. After a few days I’ve sent a smile only to have the other person close down the match.
There appear to be a lot of us who would love to engage in the service whether or not we hit it off with someone.. I haven’t been a member all that long and I think my preferences cast a wide enough net, but so far the only incoming contact I’ve had on the site was a smile and when I followed up on that to ask the guided questions, the match was closed down as well.

P.s: I would also like to see the addition of a polite decline option so that I’m not hanging around waiting for responses that may never come. It breeds negativity which is just not healthy for anyone.

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Sue

26 September 2013 02:06

I would like to know how I can find my best friend and soul mate if i’m not allowed on the site as in the relationship section i told the truth and said i’m separated I have been like this for 13yrs now and I think its about time started looking for someone to fill the gap and emptiness that i have please contact me at my email address asap thanks
Sue

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Chris

27 September 2013 12:52

So far I don’t think it’s that great. Please explain to me why you would send me matches that haven’t been on line for at least a month or matches outside my specified settings.

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Chris

27 September 2013 12:56

Not that great so far. Seem to be getting a lot of matches that haven’t been online for over a month. I thought eharmony was better than other online dating sites clearly not.

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Daryl

29 September 2013 09:59

I have to agree with Xavier.
I have just joined , but have yet to decide if I am going to subscribe. I have been sent out over 30 matches in a little over a week while still completing the 2nd part of my profile. I have replied to the icebreakers and responded to the questions. Though I was sent out another series of questions by someone that i felt was a very compatible match to myself. Yet I don’t know if she has got my reply as it keeps reverting me to the subscribe page. My question is has she got my reply and does she know I am not a paying member as of yet? Or is she just left wondering , maybe this guy is not interested when he actually is.
From the response I am hearing above its something eharmony needs to clear up as I myself and feeling quite bad as nobody likes to feel left in the dark so to speak.
If there was a 1 month plan I would have probably paid straight up , but six months ? I really need to see if I am not throwing my money down the drain !

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Only human

5 October 2013 09:03

What worries me is that some people are on here thinking they paid for their matches.

No, you paid a subscription, I’m not a purchase product. I still need to be treated with a little humanity. I’m a person behind this screen.

That’s probably the most irritating part. I think most normal people don’t want to overinflate themselves in case it disappoints their matches, And how much is too much info to dump on the internet?

Is it not mortifying enough that we’re at the stage that online dating seems to be the best option? 15 years ago it was easy as pie to meet people so there’s nothing comfortable about this situation.

But at the same time, yeah if you commit to it, do it properly and complete the profile properly, have a shave and stop posting drunk photos.

For any women that have previously dated men with major issues, like alcohol abuse or anything like that, this looks like a massive red flag.

Some days it feels like guys just want a pop-up figure and not a person.

If I’m not myself ,I’m lying, but if I spin it up and give the hard sell to ‘fit the profile’, then I will be.

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chris

7 October 2013 07:50

Im pretty experienced on the internet especially dateing sites.
Over the years of growing up, becoming a more solid christian guy, ive learnt to be wary. My best advice is to take time getting to know people online before you run out to meet them. Dont get caught up in the emotion and excitement of thinking you have met your dream partner. People can easly tickle your ears with the right communication to meet their agenda.
Take time in getting to know what they value. Wisdom calls for this to be done of a lengthy period of time. Im not saying hide online but time does bring out stuff that is good to see before you go for a date.
The last bit of advice is the most important. Try and find someone that shares your values. That your values could last a relationship regardless of home, job or car or friends and family comming and going. To many people are tieing the relationship to these things and other things.
Mybe they want a big drinker or a smoker or other things but if you put your relationship around these sorts of things what happens when one of them goes….try to find someone with the same vision, goals and spirituality as your self or can compliment areas of your life you know will really support a relationship.
Dont base the relationship on perishable things but character, love loyalty, forgivness and things that will last….looks last for a while but then they to fade away.

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Anthea

20 February 2014 09:12

I got a smile from a guy who looked very genuine but distance was an issue. I wanted to send a polite thanks but no thanks as it feels so rude not to respond and you just can’t do that. The only thing I could do was send him an email to tell him that which I feel is a bit extreme. I am only new and have not sent any smiles yet, I can handle rejection but I know I would feel a little bad if I was just left hanging especially if the person really interested me.

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Rafael Rardon

24 June 2014 13:47

Nicely done on your boy/girl information. Very well thought out. Thanks.

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