Why eHarmony dating works

Compatibility explained

What is compatibility? If you both like watching old movies and eating lobster, is that enough to make you soulmates, and will you still feel the same in 20 years' time?

Below we explain the key dimensions of compatibility which form the backbone of the way eHarmony matches you with singles. We look at your personality profile to find you someone who is similar to you – this is scientifically proven to lead to happier relationships.

The key dimensions are grouped into Core Traits and Vital Attributes.

Core Traits are stable parts of who you are as a person which will stay mostly unchanged throughout your life. Vital Attributes may change based on the events which happen in your life – they are to do with learning and experience.

Core Traits

Emotional Temperament

Our deep-seated emotional patterns (not only our day-to-day emotional reactions) are a fundamental part of who we are and how people see us. Several Key Dimensions form part of Emotional Temperament: Self-concept, Emotional Status, Emotional Energy, Obstreperousness, Romantic Passion.

Social Style

Another important part of who you are is the way you relate to people. Are you a social butterfly or do you prefer time alone? Do you want to be the leader, or are you happiest when others take control? The Key Dimensions which define your social style are: Character, Kindness, Dominance, Sociability, Autonomy and Adaptability.

Cognitive Mode

This has to do with the way you think – are you intellectually curious? Is humour your preferred method of facing the world? A number of Key Dimensions impact cognitive mode: Intellect, Curiosity, Humour, Artistic Passion.


Some people are always on the move, others prefer to take it easy. The way you relate physically with the world is another important aspect of who you are and who you are compatible with. Within Physicality are a number of key dimensions: Physical Energy, Sexual Passion, Vitality & Security, Industry, Appearance.

Vital Attributes

Relationship skills

What is your attitude towards your relationship? The amount of effort and skill you put in will affect the type of person that you are most likely to have a successful relationship with. Key dimensions relating to this area are Communication Style, Emotion Management, Conflict Resolution.

Values and Beliefs

These cover our feelings about spirituality, religion, family etc and are key in finding a compatible match. The following key dimensions fall under this topic: Spirituality, Family Goals, Traditionalism, Ambition, Altruism.

Key Experiences

Whilst the experiences you go through in your life help shape many of the other dimensions above, a few additional components are included which help us match you with other singles: Family Background, Family Status, Education.