Why eHarmony dating works

Expert guidance

Here at eHarmony we want to help you find your next great relationship, and we know that it doesn't just stop at finding your compatible match – you need to get to know them.

Our relationship experts have created "Guided Communication" - an easier way to get to know your matches. This guides you through the first few interactions and helps you to find out a lot about your matches without any awkward first emails to write.

How eHarmony communication works:

Break the Ice

The first communication you can make to your matches is the free ice breaker. This is a short message which you choose from a list of ideas. The ice breaker gets the attention of your match and can help start you on the path to discovering more about them.

Guided Communication

There are a few steps within Guided Communication, to help you get to know your matches safely and easily:

- Firstly you choose 5 pre-set questions from a large selection, and your match sends you their responses. They can then send you different questions which matter to them.

- Next you have the opportunity to consider what really matters to you in a relationship and select your "must-haves" and "can't stands". This is a very valuable piece of thinking to help you focus on your needs in a partner, and then when you and your match trade lists, you will learn a lot about their values and character.

- Finally there's a chance to write your own questions on topics which really matter to you – the questions that are hard to ask but really important.

eHarmony Mail

When you complete the Guided Communication steps with your matches, you'll move into eHarmony Mail, our private, anonymous message system. If Guided Communication is not of interest, you can jump straight to eHarmony Mail and chat freely with your matches.