Ready for a relationship

5 signs he’s ready for a relationship

by Fran Creffield - December 19, 2012

Are you dating someone but finding it difficult to establish whether he is really ready for a relationship? Without asking directly it can be hard to know so here are some signs you could look out for.

So you’ve met someone great but not sure if they’re ready for a relationship? Here are 5 easy ways to find out

As with every forum where men meet women there may be some men on eHarmony who aren’t really ready for a relationship. It can be difficult to tell a charmer from someone who is genuinely sincere about wanting to find a connection and develop a serious relationship, so here are some signs to look out for, which can help you know whether the man you are dating is actually ready for that commitment.

1. He has time for you

The first and most concrete sign that a guy is interested in developing a relationship with you is that he will make time for you even if his life is really busy. He will respond quickly to emails, calls and texts (within 24 hours) and will initiate conversations and dates to meet up.

A man is ready for a relationship when the time he invests in pursuing it is consistent and doesn’t change after the relationship has reached the bedroom. Often men are very attentive when they first meet a woman they are attracted to but their interest begins to wane once they have the prize and they start to look for the next pretty face.

If he won’t give you his time, don’t waste any more of yours on him.

2. He opens up to you

Notoriously men are a lot less open with their emotions than women are and are generally more reserved when talking about their feelings, past relationships and struggles they have in their life. A man is ready for a relationship when he has reached a level of emotional maturity where he understands the importance of developing intimacy through communication – he wants to invite you into his inner world and isn’t afraid that you will judge him as weak if he lets you know that sometimes he hurts. One of the most intimate times for a man is after sex – if he wants to cuddle up and talk then he is really into you rather than just casually dating you.

Another important aspect of this is when a man wants to draw you into his life – showing you where he lives and introducing you to his family and friends – all of this indicates that he is interested in developing a deepening relationship and making a commitment rather than keeping it casual.

3. He is affectionate as well as sexual

For men, wanting to have sex with a woman is not a sure sign of wanting to have a relationship with her. Women often mistake physical passion as a sign of deepening emotional intimacy – it isn’t. Even if your sex life is off the scale, if only one part of a man’s anatomy is interested there is no guarantee that the rest will follow. Showing affection outside of the bedroom, in ways that don’t always lead to sex – hugging, holding hands, kissing etc – gives a much stronger indication that he is ready for a relationship.

4. His friends are primarily people who are in relationships

Men will usually engage with people whose values they share, so if their closest friends are people who are in steady, committed relationships, it is a good indication that he is ready for that too. If, however, he is still hanging out with his mates, acting irresponsibly, playing the field and living an active bachelor lifestyle he may not be ready to give it up yet. Most men will have a combination of the two but over time you will see where his strongest attachments are and whose values he shares. Avoid getting deeply involved with someone who you think has the ‘potential’ to calm down and engage in a committed relationship – you need to accept someone as they are now rather than what you think they could be if you push them in the right direction.

5. He is over past relationships

This is the biggest indication that a man is ready for a new relationship – he is not bitter or cynical about women, commitment or relationships. He can look look at what happened realistically and see where he made mistakes rather than placing the blame for the failure of past relationships solely at the door of his exes, his mother, or women in general. He will give you his attention and get to know you as an individual and explore the relationship between you without prejudice.