Dating Lessons From Our Favorite Horror Movies
1. Dating Do: Behave yourself. It’s a general rule that good girls survive. Act accordingly.
2. Dating Don’t: Get drunk. Drunk characters end up playing the fools and victims in horror flicks. You don’t want to be either.
3. Dating Do: Date in public. Head to a restaurant, busy park, or popular hangout spot. Horror movies have taught us that isolated areas, abandoned buildings and hotels in the middle of the outback are homicidal hot spots. Picnic at Hanging Rock, anyone?
4. Dating Don’t: Date an addict in the throes of their disease. From Patrick Bateman’s cocaine habit to Hellraiser’s need for fresh blood, addiction is a red flag in the movies and in real life. Addicts need help. Insist your date pursues sobriety before getting sucked into the scary world of addiction.
5. Dating Do: Mean what you say. Don’t tell Jason to “give me your best shot.” You don’t mean it.
6. Dating Don’t: Mistreat women. See: ‘Attack of the 50 Foot Woman’. Yikes.
7. Dating Do: Make first impressions count. Men, showing up for the date in a hockey mask does not prove you’re a dedicated athlete. She will run away — as she should. And, ladies, the obnoxious girl never makes it to the sequel.
8. Dating Don’t: Stay in an uncomfortable situation. If Vincent Price is the host of the dinner party, leave. Send a note of regret later. And if the house itself tells you to leave, do it. Do not pass go.
9. Dating Do: Avoid bleeding heart syndrome. Not every hitchhiker needs your help. Make choices that prioritise self-preservation over heroism.
10. Dating Don’t: Camp at Wolf Creek. Don’t camp there, don’t skinny-dip there, and don’t, under any circumstances, make out there.
This article originally appeared on eH Advice.
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