Love is the answer

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Why is it hard to find love? The question should be, why is it we find it hard to self-love? We seek great pleasure in comfort food, alcohol and that ‘special someone’ to feel good about ourselves. Sounds like an addiction, right? It sure is…That love buzz distracts us from what we really want. Love. We use external resources to hide our shame of not getting love from that ‘knight in shining armour’ or ‘the lady in red’.

Love is such a powerful yet vulnerable emotion, it vibrates so highly in the light that for many of us, it’s out of reach. Many of us struggle to receive and keep love and as a result, we experience infidelity, divorces and separations. The disconnect in a union is the incapacity to handle love-to give and to receive. “If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place,” Eckhart Tolle. What I love about Eckhart’s quote is that we have the power to change including our love life! Love is not just about relationships, it is the foundation of relationships and it starts with you.

The story that we hold onto is we are unworthy of love because of the experiences we have formed throughout our childhood and up to now where it becomes a pattern of attracting the wrong type of people or becoming frustrated and fed up with why our love life isn’t happening. And it isn’t happening because we’re not showing up for love. For us to attract, experience and have a loving relationship with another, we must create the right environment to infuse self-love.

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Here are my 3 confidence building tips that you must know about:

Love takes practice

Find ways to experience love in your life without needing to find it elsewhere. Start by writing up your bucket list of things you have always wanted to do or a list of things that you enjoy doing but have parked it on the side. Tick off the list as you go in your day to day life. Things like getting your groove back in a salsa class, find relaxation in meditation, learning French or trying Aerial Yoga (which is a must!). It doesn’t have to be out of reach or super extravagant but activities that naturally make you feel good is what we are looking, make your ‘feel good’ activities your daily love practice.

Set boundaries

What is it that you want from a self-love relationship? For me, the ultimate outcome is to be able to express my needs without having to think twice about them. In the past, my relationships with men, family and friends, I didn’t have the courage and strength to say no to their requests because I thought my own needs didn’t matter. A red flag to an unloving self-relationship which is why my past relationships with men were short and I was left feeling disposable. Know your limits, what’s ok and what’s not ok so you are aligned with your greatest love in life,  which is you!

Chillax

Sometimes we can get so caught up in our head to find love. Insert some ‘me time’ into your daily schedule by placing your thoughts, time and energy to just chill. Explore ways to experience a deeper self-connection like meditation, yin yoga, write in a gratitude diary, reflective thinking on your day, a walk on the beach and appreciate the sound of the waves or unwind in a bubble bath and listen to some sweet, sweet jazz. My personal favourite is reading an affirmation from my power deck every morning to kick start my day with self-love. I find it places my focus inward to seek inner peace and happiness without being distracted with drama. These are beautiful ways to clear your mind, experience harmony in your soul and melting away tension in your body.

I would love to know how you go with these confidence building exercises and here’s to a journey to self-love!

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About the author

Jessica Goh is not your ordinary life coach, she specializes in self-confidence and reconnecting with your highest self. She has helped men and women who suffer from depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, low self-esteem and mid-life crisis experiences. Her work has resulted in clients re-connecting a loving relationship with their parents, discovering their self-worth and happiness, letting go of past pains and reigniting to a life of appreciation and love, switching careers and increase of money flow in their career. Her purpose for coaching is to educate and empower everyday Australians to live a life that they love. Jessica believes that life brings us challenges so we can become our authentic self. Discover your self-confidence at www.lifeinconfidence.com.

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