How to tell he’s just not that into you


It’s usually easy to tell whether a guy is into you or not, but in the world of online dating it can be a little trickier. Add to that the chemical make-up of women compared with men – i.e. women generally feel a strong sense of attachment when falling in love due to the extra oxytocin their bodies produce – and it gets even harder to decipher a genuine relationship from a casual fling.

Sometimes it can be difficult to face the truth, but you owe it to yourself to invest your time and energy into relationships that give back just as much as you put in. He are some brutal signs he’s just not that into you:

  1. He has no time for you

The first thing people invest in a new relationship is time. If he doesn’t reply to your texts, doesn’t seem keen to meet up and generally puts everything else in his life before you, then you are onto a non-runner. If he’s continually ‘too busy’ and won’t give you his time, don’t waste yours on him.

  1. He spends 90% of conversation talking about himself

A healthy new relationship means mutual interest in each other. You will want to hear about the other person just as much as you want to share your life with them. If he only seems interested in talking about himself and barely asks questions about you, your ambitions and dreams, then he is likely more interested in an ego boost than investing in a future with you.

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  1. He shows no affection outside of the bedroom

If he only visits you late at night and shows little or no affection outside of the bedroom, he probably likes you enough to have sex with you but not enough to develop a relationship. A guy who’s into you will want to take you out on day dates, with your clothes on.

  1. You haven’t met his family or friends

Someone who genuinely likes you and wants you in their life will be excited to introduce you to their loved ones. If it feels like he keeps you separate from his social life, and he doesn’t invite you to family gatherings or special events with friends, that’s a sure sign he’s just not that into you.

  1. He encourages you to date other people

This one is a no-brainer. If he’s telling you to date other guys, you should take his lead and go find someone who’s interested in developing a relationship exclusively with you. A guy who’s truly into you won’t want to share you.

  1. He avoids the ‘C’ word

If he goes awkward at any mention of commitment and gives excuses like ‘I really need to focus on my career’ or ‘I don’t want to ruin our friendship,’ that’s a big red flag. If someone likes you they will want to discuss where the relationship is going and make sure you’re both on the same page.

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