The ex files
There are very few relationships that end well. It is rare thing to see a parting pair agree to walk away from something that has run its course, retaining mutual respect.
Mostly, it ends in tears, for one person at least. But all too often you see couples crash and burn, then rise from the ashes to have a second go at making the relationship work.
Is it a good idea? It depends on the circumstances surrounding the break-up of course. For instance, if you agree to give your serial-cheater partner yet another shot you’re asking for trouble, aren’t you?
Here are some other reasons why you should be wary of going back to the future:
Life after a break-up can feel desolate. You miss being part of a team, and want to recapture that feeling of togetherness.
Stop it. Pull yourself together. Remember why you broke up in the first place – your partner ran over your cat/cheated on you/ robbed a bank/joined a cult – and recall how you felt when that happened.
They say misery loves company, but cheerfulness has more friends. There would have been people and activities you neglected while you were in a relationship, so start by finding them again and watch loneliness disappear.
If the sole reason you want to get get back with an ex is because you can’t stand the thought of them being with someone else, it is delusional to think that this is going to work. You open yourself up to greater heartache, reduced self-esteem and being treated like a doormat.
Don’t mistake love for jealousy.
The sex was great
… and it will be great again with someone else. If you refuse to let go of a partner because the physical side of the relationship is intoxicating, you’re just delaying the moment when you meet someone who really is the right fit for you.
Take inspiration from the Dry July crowd and then move on.
There are no hard-and-fast rules in love of course. Some relationships flourish second time round. As mentioned earlier, a lot depends on the circumstances of the break-up. Couples forced apart by interfering parents or friends, work opportunities, poor timing or forces beyond their control have an excellent chance of making it work.
Do you have thoughts you’d like to share? Let us know in the comments below or join the conversation on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram. And if you are ready to narrow down the world of possibilities, sign up to eharmony today – find someone made for you.
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