Drunk man passed out on a sofa at a party

6 situations when it’s OK to ditch a date

by Eharmony Editorial Team - May 19, 2011

Generally we encourage everyone to be kind and courteous on a date, even if they feel the spark isn’t there. But there are some occasions when it’s ok to make your excuses and leave...

1. They’ve taken a vow of silence

Let’s be clear here. We’re not saying that it’s OK to ditch a shy date. After all, maybe they just need some time to relax, after which they become the person of your dreams. But, if they seem to have clammed up completely, and you feel like you’re talking to a brick wall, maybe it’s time to make a (subtle and considerate) exit. Perhaps they’re not ready to date yet, or maybe they need a serious confidence boost. Either way, you can’t help them in one evening.

2. They take you somewhere completely inappropriate

If you’ve ever seen the film The Graduate, there’s a scene where Benjamin (Dustin Hoffman) takes his girlfriend Elaine (Katherine Ross) to a strip club. Understandably, she’s not impressed, and runs out (if you haven’t seen the film, it sort of all goes downhill from there…)

The point is, the date venue is all important, and if your date has taken you somewhere wholly inappropriate you are well within your rights to make a swift exit. Whether it’s an ‘adult nightspot’, a steak restaurant when your date knows you’re vegetarian or a death metal gig when you’re a hardened classical music fan, there’s no excuse for not putting thought into a date. The only get our clause is if your date doesn’t know you’re a vegetarian (or similar). In this case, we’d say let them know and if they handle it well, then stick around!

3. They talk about sex

If your date makes you uncomfortable, especially in a sexual way, you’re well within your rights to get out of there, and you don’t need to be polite either. No one should be talking about sex on a first date anyway, simply because you’ve got so many interesting subjects you can cover before you get down and dirty. Take the time to get to know each other first!

4. They get drunk

If your date doesn’t have the courtesy to stay (relatively) sober on a first date then you don’t need to have the courtesy to stick around. It’s their own fault they can’t hold their drink, so why should you spend your precious free time watching them drooling into their wine? Of course, be sensible. If they’ve somehow become paralytic, at least get them a taxi, point them in the direction of the bus stop or ask if there’s anyone you can call for them. You might never want to see them again, but you probably shouldn’t leave them in a dangerous situation either.

5. They’re rude

No matter how much you don’t click with the other person on a date, rudeness is never acceptable. Whether they’ve made a comment on your dress sense or told you they think your job is pointless, you’re not there to be insulted. Leave.

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6. They seem to be a completely different person

Internet dating is a great way to meet lots of new people. However, there are some misguided – or just plain stupid – people out there who think that uploading a photo of themselves from 20 years ago will help their chances. Well, maybe it will, but not for long. If your date has clearly lied in their profile or misrepresented themselves in their photos tell them so and leave. Hopefully it’ll teach them a lesson and they won’t do it again!

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