Beginner’s guide to romance

by Eharmony Editorial Team - December 7, 2009

Romance doesn’t come naturally to everyone but with these ten great (and simple) tips, you’ll be charming your loved one in no time.

For some people romance seems to come naturally. They can whip up a delicious meal for two in no time, and compliments just trip off their tongue. Then, for the rest of us romance is more of a challenge. But never fear, these ten tips should set you on the path to dreamy dates and long kisses:

1.    Listen carefully

Communication is the key to so many things, especially in the world of romance. Remember that your idea of a romantic treat, might be your other half’s idea of hell. Pick up on cues: for example, if your date mentions a certain actor she loves, treat them her night in with a DVD of that actor’s most recent film and a delicious home cooked meal. Or, if he keeps mentioning a certain book he loves – even if it’s by an author you absolutely hate – pop into a bookshop and surprise them with it the next time you see them. It’s the attention to detail that counts, not grand gestures.

2. Make it happen

True, we all have busy lives and juggling romance with jobs, hobbies, social requirements and sometimes children can be very difficult. But as soon as we start to think we don’t have time for romance, then we’ve killed it stone dead. Simply by making time for small gestures, such as speaking on the phone in the evening, or moving a meeting to have lunch together, your loved one will realise how important they are to you.

3. Be spontaneous

Routine is dull – especially when it comes to love. We’re not saying turn up in the middle of the night and serenade your sweetheart from the street, but a touch of the unexpected goes a long way. Plan a surprise weekend away, or simply welcome your partner in from a long day at work and pledge to do all the chores and the dinner that evening while they relax.

4. Laugh together

Shared amusement, even in a single moment, can bring people much closer together. If you’re not to sure of your comedy skills, go on a date to a comedy club or watch a funny film together. You’ll have lots to talk about and you’ll learn what tickles your other half’s funny bone.

5. Don’t put a price on love

Sometimes, the best romantic gestures we can make are the ones that don’t cost a penny. Yes it’s nice to go out for a posh meal together once in a while, but it’s also great to go for a walk in the country together or to pen a love note that you put under their pillow. As they say, love don’t cost a thing.

6. Keep the compliments flowing

There’s little so lovely as receiving a genuine compliment, and (see point 5) it doesn’t cost a thing. It also doesn’t have to be something gushing like ‘Your eyes are like stars’. Just a simple ‘I love spending time with you’ will work.

7. Don’t overdo it

We’re not saying hold your date at arm’s length; just don’t suffocate them with romance. Call when you say you will, but don’t follow it up with five more calls and 20 text messages. You each need to have your own lives, and absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

8. Set the scene

Whatever romantic situation you’re trying to create, the devil’s in the details. For example, preparing a romantic dinner is nice, but you ramp up the romance by adding in flowers and dimmed lights. And remember; make sure you’re attuned to you partner’s likes and dislikes, as you could be going to a lot of trouble for nothing.

9. Keep practicing

Nobody gets everything right the first time round and dating is no different. If you arrange what you think is a wonderfully romantic evening and your date is less than impressed, chalk it up to experience and move on. Don’t let this stop you doing new things, but don’t assume that every date is going to run like clockwork – 90% of the time you’ll have a blast.

10. Stay romantic

Romance in a healthy relationship should never end. It might wane sometimes, and your idea of romance might change, but romance is just as important in a long term relationship. In fact, you both need to put in the extra effort to keep it alive, whilst juggling everyday issues. Try not to view it as a chore, it’s simply a great reason for you and your loved one to spend some quality time together.