Warning signs

Long distance relationship advice: 4 warning signs

by Eharmony Editorial Team - July 4, 2011

When you don’t see someone day to day, it can become very hard to judge how they feel about you. So, to help you along, here are our top 4 “LDR” warning signs. Have you spotted any of these in your long-distance relationship?

Long distance relationships can be tough. Here are the four signs that you should look out for if you’re worried that your long distance relationship might not go the distance 

1. They won’t pick up the phone

When you’re in a long distance relationship communication is key. Of course, communication is key in any relationship, but when distance separates you picking up the phone or chatting on Skype becomes more important than ever.

If your other half just doesn’t seem to be willing to put in the work, then you should be on your guard. Dropping you the odd text before bedtime doesn’t count either – we’re firm believers in regular conversations, preferably over the phone, between people in a long distance relationship. Texts are just too easy to send, and are also far too open to interpretation. A long distance relationship takes work, and if the other person in the relationship can’t be bothered  or doesn’t want to pick up the phone to find out how you are, then maybe they’re just not as invested as you’d hoped.

2. They won’t compromise

Relationships are all about compromise and a long distance relationship should be no different. If your partner won’t visit you one weekend because they have a 5-a-side match or because they want to have Sunday lunch with their mates, then they might need to rethink their priorities.  It’s essential that both parties are willing to put in effort for a long distance relationship to work, and if that means forgoing other pleasures then that’s the way it has to be. If your partner doesn’t seem willing to put you first, then one or both of you might need to rethink your priorities – or even your relationship.

3. They suddenly change how or when they get in touch

If your other half has suddenly changed how or how often they communicate with you, you should question why. Maybe that early morning call has petered out or they no longer log online in the evening to have a post-work chat.

Of course, if your partner has a new job, or new commitments that have changed the course of their day then you can expect upheaval, but if there’s no reason for this change in behaviour then you should be prepared to ask why. Is it because they no longer have the time? They can’t be bothered? They don’t feel you appreciate it? Have the conversation before the situation gets out of hand.

4. They suddenly become needy

We all have our down days, and in a long distance relationship that can lead to a bit of neediness; maybe the odd text saying you could really do with a hug, or a moany ‘I miss you soooooo much’ phone call. But, if your other half is suddenly displaying this behaviour all the time, consider it a red flag. If they can’t cope without you for even a few days, it suggests their lives are somewhat empty and they’re using you to fill it. Whether they need new job, a hobby or some friends, a situation where one partner is totally dependent and focused on the other person doesn’t work in any relationship, especially a long distance one.