10 common dating deal breakers you need to lose


deal breakers2

By Anastasia Amour

When you’re thinking about your dating deal breakers, consider leaving these 10 things off your list:

1.  There’s an age-gap. Many people consider an age gap to be a deal breaker, however, you should consider leaving this off your list if it’s purely for superficial reasons. What’s important is where the two of you are in your lives, not the year they were born in.

2.  They live a long way away from you. Long-distance relationships are possible if you’re both committed enough. Assess your priorities and establish whether you’re willing to try and make a LDR work for the right person – are you looking for “the one” or “the one who lives closest to me?”

3.  They’re bad in the bedroom. No two people are alike. Instead of dismissing someone who’s bad in the bedroom as a terminal case, show them what you do and don’t like. Sexual chemistry can be improved, and often just needs to be given time if either of you are nervous.

4.  They don’t get along with all of your friends. Some people herald “the friendship test” as the landmark of a solid relationship, but remember –they’re your friends, not the other person’s. As long as your partner and your friends aren’t at each other’s throats, it doesn’t have to be an issue.

5.  Their relatives are… interesting. Remember that your partner is a separate person from their family members, and just because you might think there are problems with the family members doesn’t mean there are problems with your partner, too. Don’t peg them as guilty by association.

6.  They have completely different taste. Whether they’re into different music, movies, art or food than you, this doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. Common values are what’s important, not sharing the same love of Pink Floyd.

7.  They don’t look like your “type”. If they’re physically nothing like everyone else you’ve dated, this isn’t a bad thing. After all, you’re not still with any of the people who were your “type”, so why not try something new? Of course, physical attraction is important, but don’t rule out someone if they don’t meet all of a list of strict physical criteria.

8.  They’re not as educated as you are. A lack of formal education doesn’t always mean a lack of success, determination or ambition. There’s more to people than meets the eye.

9.  They’re from a different cultural background. Dating someone of a different race or culture needn’t be an issue, and can open you up to new experiences. If family or friends pass judgement, that’s their issue and not yours.

10.  They’re struggling with some baggage. Perhaps they’re going through a mental issue, or maybe their self-esteem has taken a blow after their last relationship. People aren’t “goods” that become  “unfit to be used” if they’re not in pristine condition. We all have baggage from our past, so it’s important not to be quick to rule out people just because they’re dealing with something.

We’re all unique and none of us can be summed up in a list of qualities; we’re represented by the sum of our experiences, thoughts and actions. So when you’re looking for your ideal partner, make sure you’re seeing the actual person, not just a list of traits.

Do you need to revise your dating deal breakers? What ones have you changed? Let us know in the comments below or join the conversation @eHarmony_AU or on Facebook.com/eHarmonyaustralia.

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