15 Things you can do to make your relationship last
Go to sleep in each other’s arms
According to a study by University of Hertfordshire psychologist Professor Richard Wiseman, 94% of couples who spent the night in contact with one another were happy with their relationship, compared to just 68% of those that didn’t touch.
See the good
So he likes to make an Excel spreadsheet for holidays? Try to see the silver lining of this (you’ll be super duper organised) because studies show that couples who put a positive spin on their relationship are 94% happier.
Say thank you
Nothing leads to resentment quicker than feeling underappreciated for things you do in a relationship. Whether it’s for the load of washing he did, or making a booking at a new restaurant for date night, make sure you tell each other you appreciate them.
Experimental psychologist Matt Hertenstein at DePauw University in Indiana says that hugging releases oxytocin, a neuropeptide which promotes feelings of “devotion, trust and bonding.” Translation? It lays the biological foundation and structure for connecting the two of you.
Make him his favourite sandwich
Research shows regular small acts of kindness, such as making him a cup of tea, driving her to netball or packing him lunch, has more of an impact on a couple’s happiness than one-off grand gestures.
Make decisions together
It should come as no surprise that when Dr John Gottman’s Relationship Research Institute studied how couples argue and resolve conflict, they found that in the happiest marriages, couples each showed their partner respect by sharing power and decision making.
Be prepared to sacrifice
The same study also showed that when arguing, searching for a common ground instead of insisting on getting your own way, will help a marriage last.
You don’t have to be good at it, you just have to try. And keep trying.
Send a funny email
It’s amazing how much laughing together over something can bond you. Think back to a funny moment you two shared together then send a simple email saying, “Hey, remember that time when….”
Take it back to 1999
Researchers from the University of Essex found that “people who engaged in personal discussions when a mobile phone was nearby — even if neither was actually using — reported lower relationship quality and less trust for their partner.” So take it back a decade and ditch the phone.
Get financial advice
33% of couples have seriously differing views on income, wealth and debts, so it’s little wonder money can cause tension. So that it doesn’t spiral out of control, make an appointment to see a financial planner so you can create an action plan of how you’re going to spend and save.
Ask them about their dreams
Dr Terri L. Orbuch, author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, vows by her 10 Minute Rule, where you set aside 10 minutes a day to talk about anything except the relationship. She says that happy couples talk to each other frequently about other things such as friends, stressors, life dreams and values.
Watch your expectations
Orbuch’s research also shows that unrealistic expectations of your partner leads to chronic frustration, which kills a relationship. So take a look at what you expect from you partner and be honest: is it a bit much?!
Hold hands in public
A sweet public gesture that shows your partner you’re proud to be with them.
Go out with friends
Seeing friends and making time to do things you’re interested in is a great way to re-energise yourself and keep the topics of conversation between you and your partner fresh and exciting.
Got any other gestures to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below or join the conversation on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram. And if you are ready to narrow down the world of possibilities, sign up to eharmony today- find someone made for you.
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