3 things people get wrong about online dating

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By Anastasia Amour

I remember it vividly – it was about 8pm on a warm October night in 2010. I’d returned home from yet another failed attempt at trying to meet someone decent at a bar that wasn’t just after a one-night stand. Aged just 18, I decided that I was officially done with the bar, pub and club scene. Needless to say, I found it quite difficult to find someone my age that also didn’t enjoy the typical youthful party lifestyle. I’d seen the eHarmony ads on TV and they’d been in the back of my mind for a while. The only reason I hadn’t signed up immediately was that I had more than a few doubts about online dating. In the end, I decided to push them aside and joined, and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Cameron was ranked highest in my list of compatible matches, and clearly eHarmony got it right because we’ve now been together for nearly four years with exciting plans for the future. Call it luck, call it fate, destiny or a really good algorithm, thanks to eHarmony I’ve met the man of my dreams. Looking back, I can’t believe how different my life would be had I not looked past the misconceptions I had around online dating. Yet I know I wasn’t alone in having those reservations, particularly as a younger person. So here are some of the most common things people get wrong about online dating… and why.

Misconception #1: You have to be desperate to date online

This is the one that probably held me back the most – I thought the online dating world would be filled to the brim with people who didn’t make the cut for singles in the ‘real world’; that there must be something seriously wrong with everyone if they’re trying to hide behind a computer screen. While this may be true for a limited few, it’s certainly not for the majority. So many of us go through life thinking that “real love” happens like a fairy-tale, that surely you’ll meet that special someone by chance while waiting alone at the bar. But for some (like myself), this just isn’t the ideal way of meeting someone. Some fairy-tales just happen to be digital!

Misconception #2: Everyone online is hiding or lying about their identity

Thank you Catfish for making us all paranoid that if we’re online dating, we’re most definitely being scammed! Of course there are some unsavoury individuals that may lurk on the depths of dating sites waiting to scam you, but this happens in real life too. For the most part, online daters are just real people putting their hearts on the line and their cards on the table, hoping to meet that special someone. Give people the benefit of the doubt until you have reason to think otherwise.

Misconception #3: If you have to pay for it, it probably isn’t love

Some people marry their high-school sweethearts and never have to venture out into the dating world. And good for them! But those people are in the minority. It’s a common misconception that if you’re paying for an online dating service, it’s not love but rather you trying to get your money’s worth by forcing yourself to feel a connection with someone. This simply isn’t true. By the same token, you could say that you’re ‘paying for it’ every time you pay the entry fee and drinks at a bar where you’re trying to pick up. Ask any couple that met on a paid dating site if they thought it was worth the money, and I bet you’ll get a resounding “YES!”.

Some tips for online dating success:

– Be truthful in your profile and photos, especially if you’ve paid for a service. It’s pointless paying to be matched with people if the information you give isn’t accurate. You’ll only end up being matched with the wrong people.

– Forget about the stigma. If you meet someone through online dating, your friends and family should be happy for you regardless of how you met the person. However you got there, it’s part of your story – be proud of it!

About the author:

Anastasia is a Perth blogger and the girl behind Stardust, aimed at sparking a movement of telling young women to “ditch the self-inflicted negativity and learn to project your most positive self!”

An online marketer, Anastasia combines her knowledge of brand reputation management with personal experiences, delivering a punchy, thought-provoking and insightful blog that’s helped women everywhere learn to love themselves.


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