9 things to avoid in the first month of dating


1. Being late

Punctuality is paramount when you start dating. Keeping someone waiting is not only bad manners but is also disrespectful. If you are someone who leaves things to the last minute, give yourself extra time to rendezvous with your date or even plan to get there earlier. If you’re late, always ring or message ahead to confirm you’re on your way and apologise sincerely when you do arrive.

2. Getting too drunk

Liquid courage can help relax first date nerves but remember that being a messy drunk is never a good look. The inability to drink responsibly suggests that you are also irresponsible in other areas of your life. A good date will prefer you sober and slightly shy than drunk and disorderly.

3. Stalking

It’s always intriguing when you first meet someone. You like to learn more about them but sometimes that inquisitive mind can turn you into a warped version of Sherlock Holmes, up at 3am stalking Facebook and Googling everything you can about your date. Step away from the computer and enjoy the uncertainty of getting to know them bit by bit through regular communication. Stalkers are not attractive.

4. Talking about your ex

This is a definite no-no at both ends of the spectrum. Whether you get on really well with your ex or you still stick pins in a voodoo doll, talking about your ex when you’re dating someone new does you no favours. No one wants to hear the gory details of your past break-ups so keep ex-chat to the bare minimum and focus on the present.

5. Using the L word

Saying I love you too early makes you sound like either an inauthentic player or a full-on bunny boiler. Either way don’t expect things to end happily if the L word gets aired in the first weeks of dating. It takes time for lust to develop into love and it’s rare for two people to feel the same about each other at exactly the same time. So take things easy and enjoy the moment rather than rushing headlong into your next relationship.

6. Talking about marriage / kids

Although it is important to make it clear to a new partner that you are ultimately looking to settle down and start a family, there is a right time and place, which is not in your first few dates. Premature talk about marriage and kids is just as bad as professing undying love for someone you’ve just met. As you get to know them better over time it will be clear how your date feels about marriage and whether your needs are compatible.

7. Criticising your date

There is a fine line between concern and criticism, which must never be crossed when dating someone new. If your date is carrying a few extra kilos it is not for you to recommend they go on a diet. If you notice that you are being critical of someone in the early days of dating then that person is probably not right for you and you are certainly not right for them.

8. Insulting anything or anyone

Everyone is entitled to an opinion but when it comes to first dates it’s probably better to check your strong views at the door until you know your date better so you don’t accidentally push their buttons. You may detest gym junkies, but the fact that their brother Phil has been a personal trainer for the past 20 years isn’t going to go down well when you let your feelings be known.

9. Early to bed

When you meet someone you really feel connected to it can be very tempting to move things quickly up to the next level and have sex early on, especially if your date’s hinting that they’d quite like to go to bed with you. However, sometimes it’s best to delay getting intimate until you’re sure of your feelings and theirs. It can be heartbreaking to find out your date is only interested in one thing if you’re actually looking for something a little more serious (and vice versa too!).

Above all, dating is fun. So be yourself, enjoy meeting new people and trying new things.


What are your first date rules? Tell us in the comments below.

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This article originally appeared on eHarmony Dating Advice

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