Are you attracted to your date?

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The ultimate romantic dream is that when you meet ‘the one’, there will be an instant attraction. Many people in long-term happy relationships say that when they first met their partner, they weren’t attracted to them and, in some cases, didn’t even like them.

If you find yourself on a date where you’re critically focused on what they’re wearing or how they talk, it doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s no hope of it eventually becoming a real love story. Here are some signs to look out for which will let you know what’s going on below your conscious awareness.

You can’t stop thinking about them

One of the most obvious signs you’re attracted to someone is that they seem to be on your mind all the time. Maybe you replay conversations or encounters or seem to keep finding reasons to bring the subject of them up in conversation.

You may unconsciously note where they’ll be at certain times in the day, and sometimes even make sure you’re there too. Even if your thoughts or conversation are about what you don’t like about them, or the things they have done that are annoying, they’re always on your mind and you can’t seem to shake it. The opposite of love isn’t hate – they are different sides of the same coin. The opposite of love is indifference and if this person’s constantly on your mind, you’re not indifferent.

If you think about them as soon as you wake up and just before you go to sleep at night, there is no doubting they’ve got under your skin.

You want to be where they are

If it’s a colleague you may find yourself more enthusiastic about going to work and very disappointed if they fail to show. When it’s a date you may think you’re indifferent, but when they fail to call or turn up you may find yourself surprisingly disappointed. Only then does it dawn on you how attracted to them you really were.

Your behaviour changes when they’re around

If you are attracted to someone you see regularly at work, or in your social life, the first thing you might notice is that you act differently when they’re around you. The minute they’re nearby you become clumsy, inarticulate or extremely self-conscious. You might blush, sweat or avert your eyes and if they make physical contact with you in any way, you go weak at the knees.

Any, or all, of these primal responses could occur and leave you feeling confused and embarrassed. They are the body’s response to physical attraction and are very often triggered by pheromones, chemicals secreted through the skin to attract a mate and over which we have no control.

Replay – rewind

Another obvious sign of attraction is the rereading of every text and email and the replaying of each interaction, conversation and glance. Every interaction is scrutinised for clues to their real feelings and thoughts. No matter how often you go over things, it doesn’t stop until you see them again and have a new interaction to focus on.

A few minutes in this person’s company could stay with you for days and become the basis for fantasies and daydreams.

An improvement in personal grooming

Even if you‘ve never been interested in doing more than the bare necessities in terms of personal care and grooming, you could find yourself with a whole new interest in how you look, smell and appear to others. This is another base human instinct which naturally arises when we are attracted to someone. Your friends and family will probably begin to notice you’re looking much better and may comment that you have a ‘glow’ about you.

People become attractive to us for different reasons but not all of them will be compatible or make suitable partners. Knowing, and being able to recognise, the signs of attraction in yourself will help you make a conscious, healthy choice of partner rather than an unconscious one.

 


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