Are you ready to date after your divorce?
Are you still harbouring feelings for your ex?
Now is the time to be honest with yourself; are you looking for a new love or revenge? Do you really want to share your life with someone new or are you looking to replace your former love? If you are experiencing overwhelming feelings of anger, bitterness or loneliness, it will be hard to move on to a healthy relationship.
Are you avoiding dating?
If you frequently find yourself too busy or too tired to meet new people and go on dates, there’s a chance you may not be ready to look for love. You might feel like you really want a new relationship but if there’s a disconnect between what you say and what you do, you’re probably not feeling ready just yet. There’s no harm in waiting a bit longer if you need to.
Are you happy in your own company?
Having a fulfilling relationship or dating experience means knowing you have enough in your life to fill any gaps that may exist. This means cultivating friendships, hobbies and interests which are unique to you, and don’t require you to be attached to a partner. Leading a life where you are unhappy in your own company means you’re more likely to be drawn into unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships.
Can you let the past be the past?
Getting back into the dating scene after a divorce can be daunting. After getting used to being with one person, you’re now having to get used to new people, with different personality traits, habits and opinions. It might be difficult, but in order to enjoy dating you need to be able to keep memories of your ex-partner in their place and not let them affect your judgement of any prospective dates.
Can you come up with a plan?
Dating after divorce is made much easier by deciding what kind of person you would like to meet. Even if you need to keep things casual at first, it’s better to have an idea of what you want before you start. Online dating is a useful way to meet people, as you can build up your profile as you learn more about yourself and the kind of person you want to meet, and spend as much or as little time as you want arranging dates. You’ll be a different person now than when you met your ex-partner. It stands to reason that you might need to rethink what you want from a relationship.
Want to find out more about divorced dating? See our related post below:
Tips for dating a divorced man with kids
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