Awkward situations when dating

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date

Getting nervous before a first date is natural. You’re about to meet a relative stranger and of course there will be a hope that they could be ‘the one’. One thing that makes people more nervous, especially when they have met their date online, is the fear of it being a disappointment and the date becoming awkward. Here we look at some common scenarios and how to deal with them.

The date who is late

Turning up for a first date is nerve wracking but if your date keeps you hanging around it can make your nerves even worse. Wondering if you have been stood up is not good for anyone’s confidence. Asking a date to let you know if they are going to be late is a good way of preventing this awkward situation. If they don’t and they keep you hanging around for more than 15 minutes then it could be a sign that they aren’t serious about dating.

Always treat people as you would like to be treated, with courtesy and respect. Aim to arrive at a date at least 10 minutes early so if you do get delayed it won’t matter too much.

Not the person you were expecting

Online dating used to be infamous for people misrepresenting themselves but now, especially on a site like eHarmony where people are serious about looking for a relationship, most people are genuine but they may still be a bit loose with the truth.

If you arrive at your date and find the person you are meeting bears little resemblance to either their photo or their profile you are free to leave and you should if you feel that they have been deliberately dishonest. More common than outright lying is people not telling the full truth, they may have said they were a little overweight but actually it is more than a ‘little’. Perhaps they posted a picture of themselves in a hat and never mentioned the fact they were bald underneath!

If confronted with a situation like this, ask yourself ‘how important is it?’ Whether it is a minor detail or a glaring misrepresentation if you decide to stay and see the date through then it’s important to bring it up in conversation – let them know you have noticed.

A date who doesn’t want to talk

The very point of a date is to meet face to face so you can talk to each other and find out if this is a connection you both want to pursue. When you are faced with a very quiet or unresponsive date it can be really difficult to know how to handle it. They may be shy, nervous or preoccupied with something in their life but whatever the reason it is likely to be uncomfortable for you.

The best way to ensure that you don’t spend hours feeling uncomfortable is to make the first date a short one – an hour is sufficient. Meeting for a coffee or lunch will allow you to see if there is a click between you. If there is, you can go on to arrange a longer meeting. An hour is long enough to find out if the conversation between you flows. It may be hesitant at first if you are both nervous, or your date is shy, but by the end of the hour it should be flowing.

Footing the bill

Who pays the bill on a date will only create awkwardness if you find yourself in a restaurant that is beyond your budget. Take responsibility for making sure you go somewhere that you can comfortably afford. If you are choosing the venue remember a good, intimate atmosphere is better than a flashy place that is beyond your means.

If it is your date’s choice check it out beforehand and suggest an alternative if you are not comfortable. A first date could be the foundation stone in a new relationship so begin it with honesty.


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