Body Language Basics To Remember


Experts say that about 80% of our communication is non-verbal. What we say is only a small fraction of what we are telling a date – the rest comes from our body language. The study of body language is called kinesics. It has become increasingly popular over the years with business and sales people who have a vested interest in understanding how people are feeling and responding in certain situations.

Being able to read body language can also be beneficial when you are dating, because it will help you to read your date better, but also will enable you to be more self-aware and to have more self-control over your own non-verbal communication.

Although there are some gender differences many body language signals which show that a person is attracted to someone are universal.

Here are five simple signals you can learn to read which will give you a head start in this subtle art:

First impressions

When you first meet someone the thing you will notice, almost before anything else is how they are holding themselves – their posture. If their shoulders are hunched, their arms and legs crossed and they are looking at the floor then they won’t appear very approachable.

If you want to make a good impression worry less about what you are wearing and instead concentrate on using your posture to look welcoming and open – raise your head and put your shoulders back; make sure your arms and legs are uncrossed and smile as your date approaches you. When you are greeting each other face your date squarely rather than turning to face away and make eye contact as you greet them.

Eye contact

Good eye contact is all about balance. Looking at someone when you are talking to them indicates that you are open and honest and maintaining eye contact when you are listening to them shows that you are paying attention and are interested in what they are saying. You need to be careful not to stare or let your gaze be too intense as this can make people uncomfortable. If your date continually breaks eye contact and scans the room this is usually an indication that they are not enjoying themselves or engaged with the conversation.

Above the shoulders

Your face and your head are where the majority of your date’s attention will be and it is these areas that reveal most of our non-verbal communication. According to experts there are 6 universal facial expressions which are recognized around the world – fear, anger, happiness, surprise, sadness and disgust. We use facial expressions to communicate our feelings, consciously and unconsciously, so this is the best place to start reading body language.

The mouth is the main feature of the face which creates expressions. If you really want to encourage your date to be open, do what makes your face and mouth most attractive – smile! A genuine smile is symmetrical and will produce creases around the eyes and mouth whereas a fake smile will generally be a mouth only gesture.

Your head gestures are also important particularly nodding as it indicates that we are listening and understanding what is being said. Nodding also has a deeper meaning according to Judi James – ‘Keep up eye contact when they’re speaking and use nods that are paced to their dialogue, a metronomic gesture to show that you are synchronised, which also suggests sexual compatibility.’

The distance between you is also important – lean forward to show attentiveness and mirror or synchronise your posture to that of your date if you want to encourage openness.

Hand signals

Men and women use their hands in different ways to indicate they are attracted to someone. Women will usually twirl their hair or touch their face to indicate attraction while men may touch their chest, skim their hair, or may have erect thumbs (a male sign of enjoyment). Both partners may engage in displacement gestures, fiddling with things on the table for instance – this is a sign that they wish to speed things up and make contact.

Practice being aware of your own and other people’s body language but remember to keep you focus mostly on relaxing and enjoying your dates.

Want to learn more? Here is a article that will teach everything you need to know about Body Language Of Kissing.

Got any other tips you’d like to share? Let us know in the comments below or join the conversation on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter!


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