The body language of kissing


There’s nothing quite like those delicious moments before that first kiss. Waves of desire bounce invisibly between you as you inch ever so slightly closer. Your eyes lock, lips part, and your first kiss hangs in the air like an unspoken promise. Time stands still and everything else begins to fade away. At that moment, there is only the two of you. A world of possibilities awaits… but only if one of you makes the first move.

When it comes to how to kiss and the language of love, actions speak louder than words. In fact, over 99% of emotional communication during courtship is communicated nonverbally through silent love signals. It might be time to brush up on your body language skills and learn the non-verbal language of love. The first step to understanding the body language of kissing and how to know if someone is interested (or wants to kiss you) is to look for a cluster of at least three to five simultaneous (green light) signals that indicate initial interest.

You’re inches apart, the chemistry is amazing but you’re still not sure if they want to kiss you. So how do you know for sure that they want to kiss you? Here’s what to look out for:

Lingering eyes

They say that eyes are windows to the soul, and for a good reason. Sticky eyes (that seemingly breathe you in) are a universal courtship signal indicating attraction, but that’s not all that they reveal. Pay attention to where their eyes rest for clues about their intentions. If they keep looking at your mouth and let their eyes linger there, they’re wondering what it would be like to kiss you.

They have droopy bedroom eyes

Droopy bedroom eyes are an indication of “rest and digest”- a parasympathetic response that induces a relaxed state and gets our body ready for a sexual encounter.

 They lean into you

The forward lean is a primitive subconscious response controlled by the orientating reflex (OR). The OR kicks in automatically when you see someone you like, causing our muscles to contract to bring us closer to kiss.

They move their head closer to yours

This move into your intimate space is a surefire signal that they’re keen to kiss you. If you’re not sure, brush your lips on their cheek. If they move their face towards yours you’ve been given the green light.

Meet Compatible Matches

They touch your face

Touching the face is a very intimate gesture and suggests that they’d like to get closer to you emotionally and physically (and can be an indicator of relationship potential and commitment). If their hand or fingers touch or linger on your lips, no further signals are required.

The head tilt

The head tilt and bearing of the neck is a primitive sign that indicates interest and vulnerability and gives you the non-verbal green light to approach (or get a little closer).

Their lips part

There’s no denying that the lips are central to kissing, but did you know that their lips can also reveal their intentions? Sexual attraction and desire can temporarily block brain impulses that control the lower jaw, causing the jaw to drop and lips to part. On the other hand, our lips tend to disappear (or become closed and tight) when we’re experiencing negative emotion or just not into someone.

They touch, lick or bite their lips whilst looking at you

Constant touching of the lips is a tell-tale sign that their lips are tingling with excitement and that they may be wondering what it would be like to kiss you. Attraction causes our lips to engorge with blood making them ultra-sensitive to touch. Watch their stroke style for clues on how they’d like to be kissed. If their touch is light and feathery, gently caress their lips with yours to leave them begging for more.

A word of caution: lip biting can communicate both negative emotion and arousal; however, trust your instincts, as we are pre-wired to ‘feel’ the difference. Other clues include their level of eye contact and the shape of their mouth. During arousal, a lip bite is normally accompanied with flirty eye contact and upturned lips.

They face you with their foot between your legs

Positioning their foot between your legs is an indication of comfort and attraction and may be a ploy to get into your intimate space. How close they’d like to get depends on how close your respective groins are. If they’ve positioned their front foot between your legs, so that both your groins are touching, they’re already thinking about what it would be like to be physically intimate with you.

Meet Compatible Matches

They begin blinking (a lot) …

A rapid blink rate suggests that they’re psychologically aroused (or excited) and you’ve got their attention. When we see something we like (or are thinking about that kiss) a surge of dopamine is released into our vision centers causing our blink rate to increase, sometimes up to seven times the normal rate. So if their blink rate suddenly increases as you get closer, keep a look out for the other green light signals that reveal they might want to kiss you.

Many gestures and expressions can have multiple meanings so if you want to know if they’re interested (and want to kiss you), always look for a combination of increased proximity, eye contact and touch. Last but (definitely) not least, always test the waters before jumping in for that first kiss.

by Katia Loisel

If you are ready to find that someone special, sign up to eharmony today. And to learn more about dating, love & relationships follow us on InstagramFacebook or Twitter.

If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try eharmony today!

Join Now

More like this: