Chronicles of an Internet Dater Part 2: Getting Started
By Eve Wilson
Congratulations Online Dater, you’ve chosen your site wisely! You’re obviously looking to find a true connection, for which you need to be matched on compatibility, not just on looks, age and location.
I, however, was a slow learner and spent a lot of my time on another site, until I realised (the hard way) why things didn’t work out there.
So after you’ve taken the first step and signed up, now comes the time to set up your profile. I found this harder than passing my most challenging subject at uni!
It should be pretty simple; “All I need to do is write about my positives”, I told myself. My first attempt at a profile was short, like really short: “5ft 3, blonde, blue eyes, fun, energetic, lives in Brisbane, has kids!” (Note that at this point I didn’t say how many). “Ok, that will get me started”, I figured. Now for the profile pic…
This is a VERY important photo, and yes, I do encourage you to put one up. The person who is interested in you is going to want to see a photo sooner or later. Just be sure the photo you choose actually looks like you. I know it’s hard, but try and refrain from using Photoshop. I will also add that I do not think selfies are the way to go, and for goodness sake, smile!
Another tip is not to have someone of the opposite sex in your photo, or half cut out. Your matches are going to think: “Is that your ex?” And make sure your photo is recent. Remember that if sparks do start to fly, you will be meeting that person in real life.
As I relate in my book Eve’s 30 Dates, The Body Builder (date no. 27) had a profile picture showing him with brown hair. The night we met I was in the bar, scanning the room, looking for my dark haired date. A man walked past me a few times and then I realised it was him – but with a full head of grey hair! Surely this could not have happened overnight.
Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against grey hair, in fact it can look quite spectacular – hello Mr Clooney. I should also add that I would be completely grey if not for my fabulous relationship with the peroxide bottle and my hairdresser! It was just that in the crowd I was looking for a man that looked like his picture. I did mention to him that he looked nothing like his photo, he seemed taken aback, even offended, and needless to say the date did not go very well.
Back to the profile… I realised I couldn’t leave it as a one-liner, so I asked my friends and eldest daughter for some help on how they would describe me. It turned out to be the perfect solution. It can be tricky to write about yourself without sounding boastful, but when it comes out of someone else’s mouth, it seems more accurate. And if it rings true, it feels more comfortable than writing it yourself. At the very least, you will have a satisfactory description to work with.
I also wanted something to stand out in my profile, for better or for worse. So I put it out there that I could NOT cook. Yep, that is the truth (although in saying that, not one of my Five is malnourished, so I can cook the basics). Yes, it may be seen as a downfall, but at least I wasn’t afraid to share it. And luckily for me, The One, my knight in shining armour COULD cook and thought it a great opportunity to cook for me and gain some brownie points. Which he did on our second date, and boy did he score major points! He actually said that specific quirk in my profile was one of the things that stood out for him. BINGO!
So there you have it, my advice for getting your online dating journey started: choose that profile picture wisely, ask a close friend to help you write your profile, and let the fun begin!
About the Author:
Eve Wilson is a Brisbane resident and first-time author. At only 40 years of age she is a veteran of two marriages and has five children. Following her second divorce she embarked on an internet dating adventure, which brought such extreme highs and lows that she decided to record the experience for the future instruction of others who may decide to follow her path.
Eve’s book is titled Eve’s 30 Dates – Chronicles of an Internet Dater, and is an honest, funny, crazy and romantic look at the world of internet dating with some very helpful tips along the way.
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