Chronicles of an Internet Dater Part 4: Dating with Children
By Eve Wilson
Dating with kids isn’t the easiest thing to do. Not only do you need to find the time and a babysitter, but once you have a connection with someone, there’s also the consideration of when to have the conversation about your children.
Now, most people today have some form of baggage, be it an ex and children. But how do we move past that and not get scared when we are getting to know someone new?
In my eHarmony profile, I stated I had kids but avoided specifying the exact number. I decided that I would tell a match if we spoke on the phone or on the actual date. In hindsight, telling them on the first date that I have five children was not a fortuitous move. I should have been upfront and let the kids out of the bag very early on in the conversation, i.e. on my profile! It would have saved me and them a lot of time.
In Eve’s 30 Dates, I recall date No 26, The Triathlete. I told him how many kids I had over dinner and he basically choked on his meal. The colour drained from his face, and I knew then and there that this man wanted no baggage whatsoever. It was ironic that he just happened to be a baggage-handler. I thought he could have handled my admission better!
While it seemed my Five were going to be an issue with Triathlete-man, I summoned up the courage and asked him frankly: “Why do men seem so afraid to commit?” My date told me that I am a fabulous girl with a great personality, but the Five were an absolute deal-breaker. Deal-breaker? Really?
At the time I believed him; however looking back I know that with the right man, the Five would not have been an issue. It certainly wasn’t with The One. Between the two of us, we now have seven kids!
It was about five weeks into the relationship that I introduced The One to my three youngest. I was terrified as my youngest is a small tornado and I didn’t want to scare The One away. But I needn’t worry – we all clicked right away.
As with any transition it hasn’t all been smooth sailing; however our newly blended family is as close to perfect as it gets.
If you find a partner willing to accept you and your children it does make life a hell of a lot easier. We are very fortunate that all seven of our children are happy for us and that all our ‘Von Trapp Family’ get along.
Dating with children can be difficult and I now look back at my 30 dates and realise the reason they didn’t work out wasn’t because of the Five. It was because me and my matches weren’t compatible and simply not meant to be.
Yes, we all have baggage, but when you meet the right person, the focus shifts from your past to the present and the exciting future you’re about to embark on. So don’t write off a potential partner just because they have children. You never know, they could be exactly what you are looking for.
About the Author:
Eve Wilson is a Brisbane resident and first-time author. At only 40 years of age she is a veteran of two marriages and has five children. Following her second divorce she embarked on an internet dating adventure, which brought such extreme highs and lows that she decided to record the experience for the future instruction of others who may decide to follow her path.
Eve’s book is titled Eve’s 30 Dates – Chronicles of an Internet Dater, and is an honest, funny, crazy and romantic look at the world of internet dating with some very helpful tips along the way.
You can catch up on parts 1 -3 of Eve’s ‘Chronicles of an Internet Dater’ here:
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