Five things women want in a relationship

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Over the last 30 years women have changed a lot. As the gender roles have blurred, men have found it harder to work out what women expect of them.

At eHarmony, our Relationship Questionnaire enables us to collect lots of useful information about what women want in a partner. Here are our top five observations:

A man who can communicate
This isn’t a big shocker – women want a man who can talk about his feelings. Women know that sharing and talking is good, especially in relationships. But, this doesn’t mean women want a man who will cry at the first sign of a problem. It’s a tricky line to walk guys, between sensitivity and masculinity.

A man who is honest
Who doesn’t want honesty? It’s the foundation of a good relationship. In the eHarmony Relationship Questionnaire, honesty is consistently rated as the most important quality women are looking for in a man. Before assuming you’re honest, think about your eHarmony profile responses – are they all true?

A man who is emotionally stable
Emotional health does not mean that you have all your problems solved, but women do want men who have a handle on their emotions. Confidence is hugely attractive, and emotional stability allows women to feel they can open up to a man – and trust him without worrying about his reactions.

A man who will compromise
Men are hardwired to compete to win at pretty much anything. But relationships are an exception to this rule, and women want a man who can recognise that. They’re looking for someone who is comfortable with compromise and happy to say ‘I was wrong’ when the time is right.

A man who is attractive
We’re not saying men need to look like Brad Pitt, but women, like men, also find physical appearance important. You can help yourself by simply making sure you upload a great photograph. At eHarmony we see thousands of profile pictures of men and women, and have observed that on average women take more time to find the ‘right’ photograph. They dress nicely and use a decent camera to take the photo.

Unfortunately, a lot of the male photos tend to be grainy or of less quality. Think about what that indicates of not just your appearance, but your character too. If you can’t be bothered to upload a decent photo, then what else can’t you be bothered to do? When you’re choosing your profile picture, take time to pick one that shows off your best features and really represents you.


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