Having different tastes when dating


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It isn’t necessary to like all the same things in order to form a happy partnership. Being compatible has as much to do with shared values as anything else, but when your tastes in certain areas are very different, it can create problems.

In the kitchen

A new couple are likely to eat together on their first date, as sharing food has always been a very intimate and sociable activity. Choosing a restaurant can be tricky if one person has a special diet or an aversion to certain types of food.

Can a carnivore date a vegan? Or a fast food junkie a Cordon Bleu chef? Perhaps one person is very picky or has allergies? The gastronomical delight of eating together can be a minefield if you’re not careful, but differences in food tastes don’t have to make it impossible.

Food preferences are often closely linked with someone’s value system, but they may also be the result of health or medical factors. The key to making it work is that you both keep an open mind.

Talk openly about how you came to like certain things. This may include discussing what has influenced your cooking and the food you enjoy eating. Everyone has to eat, and through exchanging information about your different tastes you’ll learn a lot about each other.

Try not to judge your partner for their food preferences, or insist they come around to your way of thinking when it comes to deciding where to eat. Good relationships are those where a couple can compromise and be open about what they like and don’t like, without fear of being judged or ridiculed. By trying new things that your partner enjoys and inviting them to try your favourite foods, you will broaden your tastes and may find foods that suit you both.

Music is the food of love

Music is often the starting point for conversation between new matches. As it’s part of everyone’s life to some extent. For some, it will play a very important role – they may even make their living from playing, recording or composing it. Others simply enjoy listening to it, and might spend much of their free time going to gigs and downloading music. Dancing is another form of musical appreciation, and if it’s a big part of your life, chances are you’ll be looking for someone who can enjoy that with you.

A person’s taste in music often reveals deeper values and beliefs, so it’s unlikely that you’ll be attracted to someone who has completely different attitudes to music from you. What is more common is that one person has little or no interest in music, while the other is very passionate about it. A relationship between them may still work, but only if they’re respectful of each others’ positions and don’t try and force the other person to adopt their views.

There are many different ways to enjoy music, and if you’re committed to the relationship you will be able to find ways that suit you both.

Celebrating the differences

Most people want a partner who is like them in lots of ways but different in many others. It is through the differences that life is exciting, fresh, and allows us to learn from one another. Being with someone who pretends to like everything you like as a form of flattery will actually become dull quite quickly. Variety is the spice of life which we gain through celebrating having differences and being willing to try new things.

The golden rule is that each of you should be your own authentic selves. It is important you feel that you don’t have to change drastically, or give up what is important to you in order to accommodate the relationship.

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