How to ask for that all-important first date


By: The Confetti Group

So, you’ve met someone online and have moved into email or telephone communication. You’re definitely interested and you get the feeling they are too, but where do you go from here?

Firstly, don’t let the online communication go on for too long without meeting. You have two options: wait for them ask you for a first date, or take charge and ask them out. Confidence is attractive, so if you like this person, go for it! Remember, inviting someone on a date is not locking them or you in for life, so keep it all in perspective. Asking someone on a date is easy, with a bit of planning.

Do your research

Before you make any contact, note down some dates and times you’re available and have a few ideas of what you’d like to do on the date. Remember, you are initiating this date so don’t expect your match to come up with all the suggestions. People are usually more open to an invitation if they know what they’ll be doing.

Pick up the phone

Unless you know your match’s contact preference, it’s better to request a date via a phone call. Text messages or emails can sometimes suggest a lack of confidence and may also make the recipient feel less valued.

Keep it private

Choose a quiet place to make the call so you’re not interrupted, and make sure you have enough time to chat. During the conversation, speak clearly and don’t mumble. Also ignore any annoying call-waiting signals; focus on them.

Time to talk

Stay calm and casual, engage in a bit of small talk first and then, after a minute or two, be straightforward and ask your match out on a date. Here are a few ways you could word it:

– “If you’re free, I’d really like to go out with you sometime this weekend.”

– “I’m going to ……………… on Saturday. Would you like to join me?”

– “I was wondering if you’d like to do something with me this week?”

Be flexible

These days, people have busy lives andmay not be available at the day or time you’ve initially suggested. But if they’re interested they’ll be open to an alternative, so be ready with several options.

Avoid appearing too needy

If you call and they don’t answer, do not hang up; leave a clear message with your name and phone number. If your match doesn’t return your call, you might consider making a follow-up phone call or sending a text message or email a few days later, just in case something happened to your original message and it wasn’t received. The ball is then in their court; try and avoid making endless calls if they’ve not shown any interest.

Mission accomplished

If they accept your invitation to go out, fantastic and well done! Now, spend a few minutes going over the details of your rendezvous-to-be. Make sure you’re both clear on the day, time and location, and any other requirements for the date, for example wearing appropriate footwear or outerwear if going on a bushwalk.


About The Confetti Group

The team at Confetti believe that your dating experience should be exciting, enjoyable and fun. Confetti will assist you to look your best, put you in a great, positive mindset and help you communicate your unique personality. They will prepare you to date confidently and support you in finding that like-minded, quality partner who shares your dreams, values and aspirations for the future.

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