How to juggle dating multiple people
I often wonder what my very British grandmother who is sadly no longer with us thinks of my dating life. I’d say she’d be in shock …
He texted you the details for your date?!
You PAY for yourself?!
You’re dating more than one man at a time?!
I can see her, with her Earl Grey tea, shaking her head.
Yes, we certainly are of a different generation. And today, we are living in a time when anything goes when it comes to dating. In fact, if you’ve been tuning into The Bachelorette, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Today, we have come far enough that it’s socially acceptable to be dating more than one person at a time, film it and consider it entertainment!
But is it a good idea to date more than one person at a time?
“Absolutely,” says Rose, 28 from Sydney. “We multitask with virtually everything now - I think I have at least seven tabs open on my computer right now! So it should be the same with dating. It can speed up the process of finding your one true love, too.”
She does have a point. If you are dating more than one man at a time, the process of elimination is exponentially faster, which is quite possibly the best reason to try mulit-dating. The only problem is your feelings can get confused.
“I tried it and I loved it for the first few weeks and then I was like, wait a minute, which guy do I like? It’s like when there’s a massive sale and you try everything on and then don’t know what you like anymore. Sometimes too much choice is paralysing,” says Cassie, 24.
So what does Cassie do? Limit her choices. “I think Sam Frost from The Bachelorette had like 14 guys! That’s way too many. I think three guys, maximum, and it can work. Anything less is pointless, anything more is too hard!”
Sophie, 31, worried about what dating many men at once would do to her reputation. “It’s not nice to admit, but I believe there’s still a double standard when it comes to dating many people at once. For guys, it’s ok. They’re just players! For girls though, they always get shamed and looked down upon, which is awful when you think about it,” she says. “It’s not fair, and I hope it changes soon.”
Sophie’s solution is simple: “I think it’s ok to date more than one man, until things move to the next level and you start sleeping together,” explains Sophie. “Then I think out of respect for yourself and the men, you should tell the others you’re not interested.”
In fact, communication is key because people have different expectations when it comes to dating and what is ok for one person might be very wrong for another. If you’re upfront and clear about where you’re at - perhaps you’re not ready to commit yet and are just having fun - it can save a lot of heartache down the track. “I don’t mind if a guy is dating other girls, it’s not like we’re exclusive in the early days. But I would want him to be honest with me about it,” says Cassie. “I don’t think I’d like to find out that I was taking things more seriously than he was.”
Ultimately, multi-dating seems like it’s here to stay, but like with anything, it’s up to you whether or not you engage. Which is fitting really because, as my Grandma would say, “you’ve just got to do what makes you happy.”
Image Source: Network Ten
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