How to tell if she isn’t interested in you

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In the normal run of life a woman who isn’t interested probably wouldn’t go on a date with you but the world of online dating is different. If you have been matched because you are highly compatible, or been getting on great when you chat online, a woman may date you in the hope that something might grow between you. On the other hand she may also feel reluctant to let go of a potential match if you have been chatting for ages online and getting on well, or she may simply feel happier dating someone she isn’t that attracted to because it is preferable to being on her own.

Whatever the reason behind it, any man who is a bit savvy will sense when their date has gone cold on them but he may not know whether he is reading the signs right – she is out on a date with them after all so she must be a bit interested. Here are some signs to look for which will help you know whether it is time to move on to someone who does really want to get to know you.

Is she still dating other guys?

It is perfectly acceptable in the world of online dating to be dating more than one person at a time. Most people get a lot of matches so in order to meet as many as possible they will casually date a few at a time. After a while of dating someone people will either come to the conclusion that a match isn’t going to lead to a lasting relationship and let them go or stop seeing other people and focus their time and attention exclusively on one.

If you have been dating someone for weeks or months and are seeing her exclusively but she won’t return the favour and ditch the other guys it is likely she is just hanging out with you until something better comes along.

What does her body language say?

Even if she is reassuring you with words her body language may give more away than she will ever tell you or even be aware of herself. Look out for crossed arms and legs and hunched over shoulders, these could be signs that she is shut off from engaging with you rather than open and responsive. Another sign is lack of eye contact. Does she always seem to be looking anywhere but at you? We use eye contact to develop intimacy and connection and if a date is reluctant to look you in the eye it could be that they are trying to hide their true feelings.

Does she kiss you?

Kissing is intimate and personal and on most dates the first few kisses can feel a bit awkward but as you get to know each other better they usually become more passionate and intense. If you have been dating someone for a while and you get the sense she is avoiding your advances or when you do kiss she is unresponsive then it is a good indication she isn’t into you physically.

Is she always late or cancelling on you?

It is horrible to be left alone in a restaurant or bar waiting for a date, or to have dates changed or cancelled at the last minute without any valid explanation. While there are some people who struggle with time keeping in every aspect of their life if you are dating someone who repeatedly doesn’t seem to value your time – or feelings – it is a clear indicator that they are not committed to the relationship.

Does she ask about you and your life?

When you are on a date, what do you talk about? If she talks continuously about herself, her life, her opinions and the only question she seems interested in asking you is what you think of her then this is a sure sign she’s not that into you. Women develop intimate connections through conversation – talking about their feelings, sharing details of their life – and if they are interested in developing a relationship with someone they will usually want to know everything about them. If she shows no interest in talking about you it’s because she isn’t interested and may just wants someone to listen to her.

Don’t lose heart if you have been dating someone like this, at least you will know now if it is time to let go and move on to someone who really is interested in getting to know you.


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