Is he ready for a relationship?


You like him – a lot. But is he really ready for a deeper commitment?

It’s been fun so far. The dates have been delicious, the sex has been sensational, the laughter light. You’ve reached that stage where you consider the two of you are an item. Your mindset is that you want him to be exclusively yours, that you’re in something special. It could be lasting.

You’re ready to be a couple, willing to commit with everything you’ve got.

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But what about him? What’s he thinking behind those flashing eyes and easy smile? Is he just in it for a bit of light relief or the long haul?

It’s a tricky moment in a fledgling romance. You’re on the cusp and you’re excited by the possibilities, but you don’t want to come across as needy. Don’t fret. There’s a few telltale signs that he is on the same page as you in terms of how he values the time you spend together, and whether he is ready for a deeper connection.

  1. He makes dates for the weekend, not just weeknights

Weekend time is premium time. It’s when you do the stuff you like doing, as opposed to the stuff you get paid to do. If he’s off partying with his mates or surfing/fishing/golfing/whatever all weekend, every weekend, and you never get a look in, dump him.

  1. He says “we” and “us”, not “I” and “me”

This is a very good indicator. It shows he has accepted that the two of you are entwined in each other’s lives and doesn’t mind who knows about it.

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  1. He’s been open about his relationship history

Look, you shouldn’t be pressing too hard on this issue. One’s sexual past should remain a private thing. But if he hasn’t told you he’s been married five times or that he has several children and you’re in the second month of dating, that’s just weird. Related to this is how he speaks about his exes. If he doesn’t denigrate his previous girlfriend and he’s reconciled as to why it didn’t work, he’s a keeper.

  1. He’s bothered to find out something about you that nobody else knows

If you like someone you want to know everything about them. By seeking to be privy to your hidden gems, it shows he’s after more than a bit of slap and tickle.

  1. He’s able to articulate what he likes about you

If he can’t come up with anything other than “you’re good in bed” or “you’ve got a great car”, dump him. He should be able to rattle off five or six things about you that give him the warm and fuzzies.

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I asked a few women I know to add to the list, and they came up with some great indicators that he’s ready to hitch his wagon to your star.Here they are, in no particular order:

  • He has agreed to do something that’s not on his top 10 list of favourite things to do: shopping, chick flick, picnic, dance, accompany you to a wedding where he knows no one.

  • You catch him looking at you. Properly looking.

  • He’s told his mum about you.

  • He could list five things you like in bed if asked.

  • He’s made you a cup of tea. Preferred strength and exact amount of milk.

  • He’s cooked for you.

  • He wants you to read a book/listen to a song/see a band he loves.

  • You’ve made a plan for something three months away.

  • He’s surprised you with something spontaneous.

But really the best way to know whether he wants a relationship or just a fling is to ask him. If he blusters and avoids answering the question, gets defensive or changes the subject, he ain’t ready. He may never be.

Then again, if he answers the way you hope he does, brilliant. The elephant in the room has been shooed out the door and you are now both certain of where you stand, ready to enjoy each other in a deeper way.

Got any other signs to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below or join the conversation on FacebookTwitter & Instagram. And if you are ready to narrow down the world of possibilities, sign up to eharmony today- find someone made for you.

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