Make time to date
When you have a busy life it can be hard to find the time between family, work and social commitments to devote to the dating process. Going on dates is only a part of the story, you also need time for all the different stages that lead up to making a date.
Setting time aside for the whole process is a commitment to yourself to take your desire for a relationship seriously. Pencil it in your diary and work other things around it. Make your happiness a top priority and remember – everything, and everyone, else in your life will benefit from that decision.
Deciding to join a dating website is an important decision and one that you should make when you have some free time to devote to writing your profile. This is best done when you are feeling happy, relaxed and optimistic. Set aside some time when you won’t be interrupted and go through each stage methodically – plan the things you want to include; do a thorough spell check; ask a friend to read it through; find some good photos of yourself – all these things take time. You want your profile to reflect who you really are – someone who is committed to finding love.
Skimming profiles or dismissing them based on the photo instead of reading them is more likely to happen if you are squeezing your dating activity into slots of free time between your other commitments. One evening a week to read them properly is better than 10 minutes a day of distracted time.
If you are always stressed and rushed, eating on the run and never managing to take regular exercise it will be reflected in how you feel about yourself. Before you can really believe anyone else will value you, you must value yourself and that means taking care of your physical wellbeing. Just a small amount of time each day devoted to taking care of yourself can have a big impact in every area of your life.
When you find a match you are interested in you will probably begin by chatting online and then maybe on the phone. Getting the balance right at this stage is very important. Being available 24/7 could give the wrong impression – that you have nothing much going on in your life – but taking too long to reply to correspondence, or never having time to chat can also put matches off. Be clear about your availability and they will know that you are serious about wanting to get to know them better.
How you spend the hours before a date can have a big impact on the date itself. There is nothing very attractive about a date who arrives stressed and rushed still dressed in their work clothes. If you are able to, allow yourself a couple of hours beforehand to get ready in a relaxed way. Treating yourself to a haircut or new outfit can help you feel your best.
Check that you are clear about when and where you are meeting and how you are going to get there. If you need a babysitter ask them to come an hour earlier so that even if they are late, you won’t be.
If you have devoted time to each of the above stages then the date itself should be unhurried and relaxed. Give your date your full attention for the duration of the date without the distraction of mobile phones or other commitments.
Even if your initial instinct is that there isn’t any chemistry between you focus your attention on trying to see beyond the first impression. No time invested in being present is wasted. If you decide they aren’t the one for you it will be an informed decision and you may have a clearer idea of what you are looking for.
If you can’t make the time to date do you really have time for a relationship?
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