See it now: visualise your future


In part three of a special blog series by our very own Dating and Relationship Expert, Melanie Schilling, Mel shows you how visualisation can transform your dating life. This week Mel is sharing some of her best dating tips and tools, and inviting you to join her on the 30 Day Dating Challenge. Check out part one and part two to catch up on the previous posts.

Melanie Schilling 'Ready for this' course

Late at night when you’re nearly asleep, drifting somewhere between alertness and dreamy drowsiness, what do you think about? Do you picture yourself in your next relationship? Do you see yourself living a great life with your ideal, perfect partner?

This is the perfect time to let your mind wander to the future. Just before sleep our brain drifts into an Alpha State where our brainwaves slow down and our sub-conscious mind becomes more prominent as our hard-working conscious mind starts to shut down. During this pre-sleep phase of your day, you are most capable of tapping into your deepest desires, your most meaningful values and your higher self.


At first, Rachel found it very difficult to see anything but dysfunctional relationships in her future. Her beliefs and self-talk were so strong, and her conscious mind was so dominant that she didn’t get the chance to listen to her deeper self.

I led Rachel through a process known as a guided visualisation which enabled her to really relax and wind down her conscious mind, and allow her softer, sub-conscious mind to speak up. After practicing this technique for a few weeks, she was able to easily conjure up a wonderful and exciting vision for her future relationship. This helped her to shift her self-talk, adjust her ‘ideal partner list’ and start paying attention to more compatible partners.

Can you visualise your future relationship?

I’d like to share the tool that helped Rachel, with you. Imagine if you could visualise your ideal, perfect relationship every night before sleep. What impact do you think this would have on your approach to dating?

Follow the next episode of this blog to find out what happened next in Rachel’s dating life. And, follow the link below to join me on The 30 Day Dating Challenge so you can gain access to your own copy of the guided visualisation MP3.

An invitation

Ladies*, join eHarmony Dating and Relationship Expert, Melanie Schilling on her 30 Day Dating Challenge.  In this FREE video mini-series, Mel will guide you through each of the 4 stages of the challenge:

  1. Let It Go
  2. Bring It On
  3. See It Now
  4. Make It Happen

You will get a sneak peak at some of her most popular dating tips and tools, including downloadable worksheets and a guided visualisation.

CLICK HERE for instant access.

*Gents, you are also welcome to join The Challenge, just be aware that it was designed for women so beware of the PINK.

By Melanie SchillingPsychologist and Dating Coach

If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try eHarmony today!

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