Talking to a stranger


couple dancing outdoors

You’re going on a first date. You’re nervous.

What will we talk about? Will he or she expect me to do all the talking?

Yikes! What if I talk too much? Or too little? Or come across as boring?

Relax. Breathe a little. You’ve got this.

Good skill to learn

Being able to hold a conversation with someone you don’t know is a social skill, just like manners and grooming.

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Like those two things, it can be learned. And it should be learned anyway, even if you’re not interested in dating. The art of being able to talk to a stranger will hold you in good stead in all areas of your life, not just in the pursuit of romance.

 Talk tactic

Good talkers make it look easy. But if it doesn’t come naturally to you, preparation is the key. The easiest tactic is to deflect attention from you onto your date. Get them to do the talking!

Before you head off for that first coffee or walk in the park, write down a list of questions (and follow-ups) you can ask. People love talking about themselves, and by asking questions about someone’s work, family, hobbies and interests, travel experiences and it shows you are interested in them.

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 Tricky subjects

A warning: try to avoid drawing them into a discussion about your date’s politics, views on religion or stance on global warming as an ice-breaker. It’s too soon to navigate such tricky subjects. Neutral topics only please.

Being across current affairs is a good idea. It allows you to showcase your engagement with the world and helps to keep the conversation going.

 Dry runs

Of course, at some point you would expect your date will ask you questions. Do some dry runs in your head and imagine you have been asked about your work, family etc. Practice giving interesting or informative responses, not just the bare minimum.

Conversation is the same as any endeavor … you get out of it what you put into it. Don’t expect your date to do all the work or it might be your last meeting.

Do you have thoughts you’d like to share? Let us know in the comments below or join the conversation on FacebookTwitter & Instagram. And if you are ready to narrow down the world of possibilities, sign up to eharmony today- find someone made for you.

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