The 7 Most Annoying Things You Can Say to a Single Person
By Harriet Farkash
There are many perks of being single – being able to hang out with your friends as much as you want, having full control of the remote, being able to make decisions selfishly and never fighting over whether the toilet seat should be up or down. But of course there are bits that aren’t so great, like when well meaning people ask untactful questions. Here are our top 7 most annoying, and how you can respond.
“How long have you been single for?”
Response: “A little while, but I’ve only just gotten serious about finding someone recently.”
Why it works: the response to this will be different depending on who’s asking. For example, if it’s a fellow single person, you can get down to the nitty gritty. If it’s a date, it’s best to be vague in the early days, depending on what you want them to know. After all, the length of time you’ve been flying solo for isn’t a reflection of your desirability.
“How are you single? You’re great!”
Response: “I know, I’m crushin’ it.”
Why it works: Because it’s the truth.
“There’s this great guy/girl at my work I want to set you up with…”
Response: “Great. Make sure he/she’s at your Friday night drinks and I’ll swing by…”
Why it works: You can make good on this promise depending on whether or not you actually want the date.
Do you think you’re just too fussy?
Response: “No, because I’m happy being single so I don’t want to give that up for the wrong person.”
Why it works: being fussy is not the same thing as waiting for the right person to love. If they follow up, you can always add, “Well, I’m friends with you, aren’t I? So I can’t be too fussy!”
“Don’t worry, it’ll happen when you least expect it.”
Response: “I know. I think that every time I’m dancing around the kitchen to Taylor Swift in my onesie…”
Why it works: this statement hints that by actively looking for love (such as by joining a club or asking a match out on eHarmony) you’re “desperate”. Quite the contrary – it’s called being proactive.
“Don’t you get lonely?”
Response: “Absolutely not. How could I with 27 cats to keep me company?”
Why it works: deflect the insensitivity of this question with humour, not a punch.
“I really want to invite you, but it’s a couple’s thing…”
Response: “That’s fine.”
Why it works: because now you have time to hang out with your cooler friends who wouldn’t pull a d*** move like that.
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