The importance of switching off
Online dating can be very exciting; especially at the beginning when you are getting lots of matches and messages. However it is easy to let it take over your life, especially now that modern technology gives us constant internet access no matter where we are. Just like with anything else in life, moderation is important – you don’t want to get in trouble at work or leave your friends feeling like although you were out with them you weren’t really ‘there’ because you were on your phone the whole time.
Believe it or not being online all the time is not going to give you the best chance of success when it comes to dating; you still need to give all the other parts of your life time and attention. Because we know how difficult it can be to get the right balance here are six really good reasons why it is important to log off sometimes and turn your attention to other things.
1. So you don’t get fired
This is a very good reason to log off. Most employers will be happy for you to check your emails in your lunch hour but if you are repeatedly caught conducting personal business on company time you could find yourself with a full heart but empty bank balance. Always stay professional and focused at work and schedule free time when you can give the dating process your undivided attention – a full hour after work spent responding to messages and reading matches profiles is better than 20 five-minute scans during your working day.
2. So you don’t let your imagination run away with you
If you are a bit of a daydreamer, online dating can become quite addictive because each hint at romance will set you off into romantic fantasy. The danger of this is that you will build scenarios in your head which may bear little resemblance to reality. People who fall in love very easily – just from having read someone’s profile or had one good date – often suffer from numerous heartbreaks which are painful and discouraging. Remember that dating is only a small part of your life, continue to engage with hobbies and activities even when you have met someone so if it doesn’t work out you won’t be left with a big hole in your life.
3. So you don’t become a dating bore
Colleagues, friends and family are all a valuable source of support when you are first setting out but once your profile is up and live they don’t necessarily want to know about every icebreaker you send or date you go on. Wait until something concrete happens before you make it newsworthy and remember to show interest in other people’s lives too even if your head is full of your own potential romances.
4. So you remain the person your profile describes
Matches will be responding to the things you said about yourself on your profile – that is who they are attracted to and that is who they expect to meet. If you give everything up in the name of love you will no longer be that rounded person with a full and interesting life. Being available to chat or text 24/7 gives the impression that there is nothing else going on for you.
If you don’t have much chance to respond to messages because you are very busy it is a good idea to tell matches that so they don’t think you have lost interest if you don’t get in touch for a day or two.
5. So you keep it real
Relationships built on the internet are not real – the real business starts once you meet each other face to face and you should try to do this as soon as possible. Some people become quite addicted to the process and end up having an intimate relationship with their laptop or smart phone rather than taking the risk and meeting someone in person – the virtual world can mask insecurities and people may be much more confident presenting themselves in this way than they are naturally – you can’t edit what you are saying so easily face to face.
6. So you sleep well
Try to have at least one technology free hour before you go to sleep as research has shown that this improves the quality and depth of your sleep so you wake feeling much more refreshed and are less likely to suffer from insomnia.
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