Top tips for dating a divorced man with kids
Be aware of when the divorce happened
There’s a difference between being separated for a few months and being divorced for several years. What stage is your date at in his divorce? If you’re finding he is talking a lot about his ex-wife or his marriage, he may need more time to move on before starting a new relationship.
Be prepared for meeting the ex
When two people have children together, they nearly always have to remain in each other’s lives. So bear in mind that your date’s ex-wife will be in the picture while you are dating him. They may need to speak often about their children and arrangements for care. Your date might also have kept in contact with friends who knew both of them while they were together. While it’s not always easy, try your best to be understanding and remember that there’s no need to feel threatened by his past.
Put the kids first
Your new man’s kids will always come first to him, so don’t try to compete for his affection. Even if you’re thrilled about the prospect of meeting them, be aware that you need to be the one to fit into their lives, not the other way around. Dating a divorced man with children will mean joining a new family, so make sure you’re ready for what that could entail.
Don’t look into the past
When you date a divorced man with kids, you’re likely to come across reminders of his former relationship. This could be in the form of old photos, presents or anecdotes about things that happened when he and his ex were together. Try not to let this bother you; everyone has memories which represent a different time of life. Just make sure you’re not snooping through his Facebook history or trying to learn too much about his former partner. Remember to keep the past in the past, and that delving too much will only make you miserable.
After going through a divorce, it’s unlikely that your date will want to rush into a serious commitment, especially if he has children. It’s best to take things slowly and not to feel impatient about reaching certain milestones together.
Never badmouth the ex
It’s really important not to insult or speak negatively about your date’s ex-partner, especially in front of his children. Even if he complains about her from time to time, don’t jump on board and don’t remind him of things he may have said in the heat of the moment. It’s his job to work through any anger he might feel in order to do what’s best for his kids. You don’t want to get caught in the middle should anything you say get back to his ex.
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