What dating style suits you best?


What your dating style is will depend very much on what kind of personality you have. For some people a night out under the stars is their idea of romantic heaven while for others a busy nightclub or party is where they feel most at home. Knowing your dating style can help to ensure that the dates you go on have the very best chance of you relaxing and allowing your date to see you in the best possible light.

Look around you

The best way to discover your dating style is to look around and see how you maintain your relationships with the important people in your life. Do you meet for coffee or invite them round for a barbeque? Do you go out and do things together like cycling or walking the dogs? How you maintain your current close friendships will give you a good idea of how you develop intimacy with people and although romantic relationships and dating are different it is important that you feel as natural and comfortable as possible.

In your element?

What is your element? Where in your life do you feel you are most ‘you’ doing the things you enjoy and at your happy best? Maybe it is near water or in the countryside? Perhaps it is when you are surrounded by people in a buzzy atmosphere with lots of stimulation? Choosing dates where you are in your element will go a long way to ensuring you find someone who is compatible with you.

Introvert or extrovert?

Do you know whether you are an introvert or extrovert? Although we can all have characteristics of both knowing which you predominantly are can improve all of your relationships.

If you are an introvert you will have an inward focus and will be more comfortable being on the side lines than the life and soul of the party. You are likely to be very self-conscious around other people which can make you feel uncomfortable in large groups. Although you may be witty you probably don’t like an audience of more than a couple of people and you may be camera shy. Emotionally you are a bit of a closed book and very private processing things internally rather than talking about them.

If you are an introvert the kind of dates that will suit you will probably be trips to the cinema or theatre or quiet places where you can be together but without too much emphasis on you to perform or open up.

As an extrovert you are probably much more likely to shine when you are centre stage so dates which put you in the limelight will be more your thing although you will find most social situations enjoyable.

Use the results from the eHarmony personality questionnaire to work out which you are and then, as far as possible go on dates that suit your personality.

Forward thinking

Do you like to plan all the details of your date ahead of time including what you are going to wear and how you will get there and back? Many people can only relax if they feel everything is under control – only then can they enjoy themselves because they don’t have to worry about the details of the date or how they will get home.

For other people this kind of planning can feel stifling and stops them from being able to relax and be natural. They prefer to arrange a time to meet a date and then take it from there. This can create anxiety for some people. It is always best to check with your date – often dating styles may appear to be incompatible but if you both compromise you may find that you are still compatible as people – opposites can attract and both ends of the spectrum have their advantages.


How do you prefer to communicate with a date? Some people feel they can be more emotionally open when they are face to face with a date but others prefer long emails or regular text messages. How do you communicate with the people closest to you? If the answer is in writing make sure that even after you have been going on regular dates with someone you still write to them too in emails , letters and texts.

Knowing yourself, and your dating style can be a great advantage and will give you the best chance of connecting with someone and building a lasting relationship.

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