When Is The Right Time To Be Exclusive?
Deciding to see someone exclusively is a big decision for some people while for others it will be the most natural thing in the world. Although there are no hard rules around dating, there are some things worth considering which can help you judge if it is the right time for you.
Other potential matches have lost their appeal
When you meet someone you really connect with you may find that other matches suddenly lose their appeal. You may have been very engaged in online dating activity, corresponding, reading profiles etc but the eagerness has subsided considerably since you started dating this one person. You use them as a bench mark to compare others but no-one measures up.
You’ve called off the search
This lack of enthusiasm for dating other people is often a case of the heart ruling the head. Your head might be full of doubts because the object of your affections doesn’t tick every box, but your heart has called off the search! Try as you might you no longer want to date other people. The magic ingredient you were looking for has been found but it may take your head a while to catch on.
They feel the same way
It is very important that before you give your heart to someone you check they feel the same way. Becoming exclusive is much quicker when people are open about their feelings. No playing hard to get or staying mysterious – it is time to be honest and show your hand. When someone says they really like you and want to see you again it is the best feeling in the world if you feel the same way and exclusivity is often the natural result of that conversation.
You shouldn’t have to coerce or persuade someone to move forward with you – love that isn’t freely given isn’t worth having. If you’re ready to be exclusive and they still want to play the field it may be time to look for a better match.
You have been dating a long time
If you have been dating for a long time there will come a point where you either become exclusive or stop seeing each other. Sometimes people like to keep their options open and will keep dating because they are hoping something better might come along. The irony is that nothing better is likely to come along because they are acting from a place of fear rather than trust. If you don’t want to be exclusive with someone you have been dating for a long time, do the right thing and let them know.
Not everyone likes to communicate with lots of matches or date more than one person. People like this will pursue one avenue at a time and only move onto another when they have come to a dead end. This is much more like the old fashioned way of dating and is just as acceptable as multiple connections only it’s easier to manage because you efforts are concentrated in one place.
For someone like this, the decision to be exclusive will often involve closing there dating account because they have found happiness with a single person.
Our research showed that fear of missing out on someone better is preventing 32% of Aussie singles committing to a relationship. These people worry that if they settle for one person they might miss out on something better down the line. The reality is that if they never focus their attention on one connection they’re unlikely to develop a deep and lasting relationship with anyone.
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